Page 31 of The Need to Know

“Okay…?” I said, waiting patiently for the tea.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, shrinking it seemed. “And he’s not exactly ideal.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s super sweet, working class, not in med school.” Alannah made a face, as if the last thing was the be-all and end-all for our parents.

“So? As long as he’s not trying to get you to drop out, I’m sure the folks will approve.”

Alannah wrinkled her nose. “No, Oisin’s real supportive. He’s kinda shy about his job and not being ‘good enough’ for me. He thinks I’m so smart and going places, and he doesn’t want to get in my way, and I like that. I like his humility, a lot of these guys in my classes are real deal assholes, Nas.”

“Well, props to Oisin for being a real man and acknowledging you deserve the best. And despite his economic background or class, as long as he loves and respects you, I’m sure he is the best,” I responded confidently.

To see my younger sister be so blushy and happy, made my mood lift. I wanted love and joy for her.

I got back to his name. Oisin. Oh-sheen. “So, his name is Oisin?”

Alannah got this dreamy look on her face. “Yeah, his mom noticed his dad had an entire Irish name and started a tradition for their boys. They like to joke that they’re the Black Irish. His name means ‘little deer.’ ” She leaned back on the sofa she was sitting on, going and gazing off. “He’s so…ugh, girl. He was raised in a family of boys. He’s got a lot of uncles, too. So, he’s a guy’s guy, really manly and protective, but when it’s just us, he’s so polite and affectionate. I really lucked up.”

“Love that for you,” I said. An ugly inkling of jealousy seeped into my bloodstream. “Sometimes you can spend your life going through nothing but duds and still never find a good one.”

“Most of these men be sponsored by Hefty,” Alannah stated. “Because they’re trash.”

I chuckled. “Hell yeah, tell me about it. I’m probably going to dedicate my life to cats.”

Corey creeped into my mind once more. The first time I told him I loved him, he held my jaw and said, “Good choice.” When I’d been hurt by that, he went on to say he wasn’t used to being affectionate or expressing his emotions.

His love language was being a fuck boy.

“No.” Alannah sat up on her end, holding out a stern finger. “So you’ve had a bad relationship, there’s nothing wrong with getting back out there.”

“Being a full-time cat lady sounds more rewarding than vetting potential boyfriends.”

“I’m serious. Be strong and independent, but sometimes a girl needs to be broken off.”

She had me. I didn’t even own a vibrator or any other sex toy. I was a bit juvenile in my preferred method of masturbating. But my hands, and a sex toy, couldn’t beat the real thing. And it had been a while.

I leaned back against my cushion, eyeing my ceiling. “Do not remind me.”

“See,” Alannah pointed out. “Now, what do you want in a guy?”

“To be wanted. Needed. Loved. Respected. Unforgettable. To matter.” I pushed a hand through my hair. “God, guess they were right. I’m basing my life on wanting to be loved, and by a man.”

Alannah sighed. “Mom and Dad are too stuck in their ways. Don’t pay them any attention. There’s nothing wrong with being a romantic or wanting a partner in life. You have a successful business you’re growing. You have a cool blog you run. A wise woman once said, do what makes you happy, whatever his name is.”

I deadpanned. “You’re going to be a doctor, not a comedian.”

Alannah smirked. “Oisin thinks I’m funny.”

“So he’s cancelled before I meet him? Talk about grand opening, grand closing.”

Alannah got serious. “Stop it.”

“You really like him?”

There she was again, blushing and being squirmy. “I really like him.”

“Good.”