Page 36 of Second Chance Saloon

“But now I must say what I’ve been wanting to for the past ten years.” Sharon’s heavy breath vibrated in Jackie’s ear. “You can’t let fear of what could be dictate the rest of your life. It’s no way to live.”

“It’s not fear, it’s—”

“Nothing more than what-ifs and regrets. You can’t predict these things.”

The impatience lacing Sharon’s voice took Jackie aback. Ribbons of panic enveloped her chest, squeezing out every drop of air from her lungs. A trickle of irony moved through her veins. Sweat slicked her palms. She dragged a trembling hand over her face. “I have to go, Mom. I’m going to call you another day, okay? Give my love to Dad.”

“I will, honey. Please don’t be angry with me.”

Jackie’s throat worked. “I’m not.”

And she wasn’t. Sharon didn’t say anything that Jackie hadn’t thought hundreds of times. If only it was as simple as her mother made it sound …

She was so lonely and damaged, telling herself she deserved the heartache.

The reason why she left hadn’t disappeared. It was still there, buried within her, merged with her subconscious, never letting her forget about itself for long. But it no longer had complete power over her. She’d grown into it like it was a second skin covering up her old self. If she really wanted to, she could take a leap into happiness.

“I love you, call us soon.”

“Bye, Mom.”

Jackie dropped her phone onto the coffee table, her hollowed gaze landing on the clock. Shit. She was fifteen minutes late.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

October, fourteen years ago

Mitch

There was something about the Texan air. Mitch wasn’t sure what it was, but it wasn’t like Portland. His lungs filled with a promise that the best times were still to come. His heartbeat thrummed, more in sync with his breathing than ever before. Exhaling was smoother. Inhaling was effortless.

Or was it all the Jackie effect?

He rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling. If only sleeping was as easy as breathing.

Brenda had showed him to the bedroom farthest away from Jackie’s. Opening the door, her eyes gleamed like she wanted him to challenge her. Which he didn’t, of course. He wasn’t stupid. Besides, what would he do if their rooms were closer? It wasn’t like he’d ever done any of … those things. Thought about them, sure. He’d heard his friends in the locker room talk about this and that. But he himself hadn’t even crossed second base at that point so he’d always stayed quiet.

Mitch sighed at the memory from the other night, after his swimming practice, when Jackie had surprised him as he walked outside and led him to her room, saying Lyla was out for the night. He’d barely registered the way her gorgeous blue eyes caught the harsh corridor lights as she opened the door, and her lips were on his, their tongues dancing like the music of their hearts would go on forever. Everything jumbled together in his mind after the moment they connected. When his senses resurfaced from underneath the weighted blanket of feverish desire, Jackie pulled her top over her head and carelessly threw it on the floor. Her eyes, her lips, and every line on her face glowed with anticipation.

He was already hard, but in that moment, he was sure he’d snap in half from straining against his pants.

Mitch groaned into the still night.

He’d said something about going slowly; she’d smiled and told him she was thinking the same thing. He wanted to go there with her, he wanted to have everything with her. But two months ago, he’d only ever trained, studied, gamed or fiddled with his Rubik’s cube while listening to country radio on full blast. Now, he was in Texas. A freshman, taking pre-vet classes, swimming for the Longhorns, and spending a weekend at a ranch from his dreams with a girl he’d never, ever even wished for. What did she see in him?

Enjoy it while it lasts, ask stupid questions after she’s through with you.

It wasn’t a nice thought, but he knew it had to be true. The Jackies of this world didn’t end up with guys like him.

While he was berating himself for overthinking, the door creaked open.

“Psst, Mitch. Are you asleep?” Jackie whispered.

He sat, straining his eyes to decipher her silhouette. “What are you doing here?”

She closed the door behind her with a soft click. Her bare feet padded to the bed. The moonlight from the window illuminated her face.

Biting on her lower lip, she gave him a sad smile. “I can’t sleep.” She sat on the edge of the bed, the mattress springs letting out a low moan underneath her weight. “I struggle to fall asleep when I’m excited. I was fed up with tossing and turning.”