Page 42 of The Monster and the Masochist

“I love that idea! Ginger Snap, what do you think?” he beamed at his fiancé, and Ryan glanced up at him, looking shocked that Cal was so excited about my suggestion.

“It had crossed my mind when we first started planning, but I didn’t think people would want to come to a wedding at a funeral home. Plus, isn’t that kind of boring? I wanted to do something different and special for you, angel.”

Cal was shaking his head, looking so excited he could burst.

“No way! It’s not boring! I love our house! Did I ever tell you the first time I walked in, I couldn’t stop thinking about how dope it would be to throw a Halloween rave in there?”

He was literally vibrating. I was exhausted just looking at him. Ryan, on the other hand, was looking misty-eyed and touched that Cal was so into the idea of getting married at their house.

“Obviously, our wedding isn’t a rave, but I think it’s perfect! We can decorate it with tons of flowers and those little sparkly lights that Naomi’s obsessed with! Oh, baby, can we? Can we do it at Fairview? Puh-leaaaseee?”

Ryan was grinning now, clearly enamored with how excited Cal was.

“Well, yeah, if you feel that strongly about it. Of course we can, angel.”

“But I want you to love it, too! Don’t just say yes because I want to do it there. If you don’t like it, we can keep looking.”

“I do love it when you say it like that. You’ve convinced me. I think it’s perfect.”

I felt myself visibly relax.

Thank god.

One impossible problem down, one more to go.

“Hey, what’s this?” Ryan asked, and I was suddenly glad I didn’t have any more wine to choke on. He’d clicked on one of my open tabs in his attempt to close my Airbnb search.

“Nothing!” I screeched, trying to grab the laptop away from him, but he slid away on the couch, holding the laptop out of reach while he kept reading.

“Why are you googling ‘mail order husbands?’

“I’m not!” I snapped, still reaching over his lap to get to the laptop.

Cal snatched the computer out of Ryan’s hands and stepped further out of reach, his brow creasing as he snooped into my recent search history.

“Yes you are!” Cal laughed. “Look, this site says ‘husbands for hire’. Ew, Cass. You realized this is an escort site, right? You really having that much trouble getting laid?”

I groaned and threw my head back against the couch, pinching my nose again.

My head was pounding.

“I’m not trying to get laid. It’s for work.”

“You need to hire an escort for work?”

I didn’t need to look at my brother to know he thought this was hilarious.

“You okay, Cass? You look like you’re getting a migraine,” Ryan’s sympathetic voice floated from my right, and I nodded.

“Yeah. I think it’s stress-induced.”

“I’ll get you some ibuprofen… Do you keep it in the bathroom?”

Fuck. Ryan was the best.

He called Cal angel, but sometimes I thought out of the two of them, Ryan was the one with the damn halo.

“Yeah, under the sink. Thank you. And can you also fill up my wine?”