Page 41 of The Monster and the Masochist

That would certainly do it.

Jesus.

Taking in Ryan’s panicked, desperate expression, I ran through some options in my head.

The problem was, I knew Ryan. He was nearly as neurotic as I was. It would be insulting to ask him whether he’d checked the availability of other venues.

Of course he had.

He probably had them listed in a color-coded spreadsheet somewhere, complete with quotes, cost breakdowns, and pie charts.

“Are you set on the idea of a commercial venue? How big is the guest list?”

“It’s pretty modest; we wanted to keep it intimate.”

Ryan slid his hand into Cal’s and looked up at him with big, adoring eyes. Cal gave him a tender smile and brushed a soft kiss across his lips. I couldn’t help but grin at how disgustingly cute they were.

It was also adorable that Ryan had said ‘we’ wanted to keep it intimate. Anyone with eyes could see that Cal was just along for the ride, enthusiastically agreeing to whatever made Ryan happy. Ryan could have said they were getting married at the circus, and Cal would have just thought that was ‘awesome’.

They were legitimately perfect for each other.

And here I was, googling if mail-order husbands were a thing at the ripe old age of twenty-nine, so I could stay married to my job.

Where the fuck was my wine…

I went to take another sip and scowled when I realized my glass was empty.

Typical.

“How many people?” I asked.

Cal scrunched up his nose, trying to remember, but Ryan immediately informed me that they’d sent out invites to seventy guests and sixty-two had RSVP’d yes. Three of which had allergy restrictions. One peanut, one pineapple, and one shellfish.

It was more information than I needed, but I appreciated the attention to detail.

“Okay, great. That’s a super manageable number,” I said, turning back to my laptop.

My mind was whirling with alternative possibilities. “Airbnb, maybe? Bet we could rent a cute farmhouse with some land or something…” I muttered, thinking out loud.

“Oh my god! I didn’t even think of that!” Ryan exclaimed, sounding hopeful and excited. He came to sit next to me on the couch so he could read over my shoulder.

“Yeah… I don’t know if renting something residential would work for a wedding, it looks like most of these cap out at ten guests…”

“Oh…” Ryan visibly deflated beside me, and my heart pinched.

“Don’t stress, give me a minute… I’m thinking…”

Residential…

Then it hit me.

“What about getting married at Fairview? Have you considered that? Honestly, the house has more than enough space, and we could rent one of those giant, see-through tent things for outside…”

Actually, the more I thought of it, the more I liked it. I imagined how nice the old Gothic house could look if we hired an event planner.

“We could get it catered and have the ceremony in the garden. It would actually be super poetic. There would be lilies everywhere, and isn’t that where you guys had your murdery meet-cute? Didn’t my brother break in and try to kill you?”

Cal’s eyes widened, and a massive smile spread across his face.