Page 159 of Loyalty

John’s throat bobbed with a swallow. “Monday, maybe. Or Tuesday.”

“You’re not sure?”

“One of those days.”

Siena nodded once. “When you did actually see her, have you told her that you haven’t been taking your meds?”

John tensed all over. In a blink, Siena could see how his entire demeanor changed at her simple question. She doubted anyone had outright asked him that lately, if at all. Had he even been around anyone who would dare to ask him that question?

“Have you told her?”

“I’ve been taking my meds,” John said.

“Have you?” Siena asked. “I’ve seen your meds, John. I counted the pills. They don’t add up to the prescription and fill date.”

His jaw hardened as his lips pulled back into a sneer. He turned on her with that look, and she knew something nasty was about to leave his mouth. A defense mechanism, maybe. Or it could have even been his mania still manifesting in a verbal form.

Siena really didn’t know.

She couldn’t let this go.

“Before you speak,” she told him, “think very carefully about what you want to say to me. Consider if I am asking these things to hurt you, or because I care, John.”

His posture softened.

As did his expression.

Siena took that as a good sign.

“My meds aren’t important right now,” John eventually said. “What I need to know is what happened last night.”

“You showed up here.”

“Nothing else? I didn’t say anything? I didn’t tell you anything?”

“No, all you really wanted to do was fuck, actually.”

John shook his head, and pulled the shirt on. “I need to know what happened last night.”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Then what fucking use are you?”

Siena sucked in a hard breath. His words stabbed at her skin, and cut out her heart. He might as well have just punched her in the chest, and ripped her heart out from between her rib cage. It would have hurt just the same.

“I’m sorry,” John quickly said. “I didn’t mean that.”

And yet, even when he apologized, he was still getting dressed. He didn’t look at her, or see how badly his words had hurt when they made their impact.

He didn’t know at all.

His impulse control, judgement, and empathy was gone out the window.

Entirely.

“I know.”

And she did know.