Page 67 of Letting Go at 40

Calvin tugs Bryce in for a back-slapping embrace.

“Gonna miss you, man.” My softer son hands out his feelings.

“Don’t get into trouble,” Calvin warns, pressing his brother back and leveling him with an eye like they share a secret.

Calvin turns to Mila next, folding her into his arms. Like a switch has been flipped, Mila bursts into tears, clutching at Calvin’s shirt.

“Shit,” he mutters, tugging her tighter to him. “Stay true to you, Meme.” He leans down and presses a sweet kiss to the top of her head, using his childhood nickname for her.

“Stay true to you,” she blubbers into his tee.

My own eyes well before I rub a hand down her back, signaling we need to step back or we’re all going to be a mess on the pavement.

Calvin releases Mila and she wipes her nose with the back of her hand, then acts like she’s going to rub it on his shirt. Wet laughter fills her when he jumps back.

“Alright,” I softly command. “Car.”

Mila opens the back door and Bryce rounds the car toward the driver’s side. I reach for the passenger door handle, but a hand on my back makes me pause.

“Mom.” Calvin’s voice cracks. “One more,” he asks, and I turn back to pull him to me, giving him one more tight squeeze like he’d ask of me when he was a child tucked in his bed, ready for sleep.

One more hug, he’d ask as a little boy.

One more hug, he’s giving me as a man.

Chapter 24

11 Months Ago

October

Fall Surprise

[Anna]

Quickly time passes as August fades into September and September bleeds into October. Day by day, as my grandmother said. Calvin loves college but misses home. Bryce plays football. Mila and Lorna continue the revolving door between here and there, and I spend many nights alone.

Communication with Mason dwindles. Zack gives me updates. Mason’s custody fight has turned from a battle to war as he secures an attorney. I’ve checked in with him, to be the friend he needs now, but his responses are vague.

Me: How are things with Lynlee?

Mason: We’ll get there.

He’s shutting down, and the hole in my heart allotted to him grows. I’ve missed him more than I want to admit.

Then, one beautiful mid-October day, my doorbell rings.

“Mason.” I stare at him like he’s a breath of fresh air, cool and crisp in the autumn afternoon struggling to let go of summer. He, on the other hand, looks exhausted but the timid smile he gives me lights up his face.

“I was in the neighborhood,” he says as his hand shifts to someone small and trim, tucked against his leg.

The most beautiful wide-set eyes peer up at me.

Mason smooths a hand down her short, stick straight black hair. “Anna. This is Lynlee.”

I smile wide as I crouch before her, extending my hand. “So nice to finally meet you, Lynlee.”

She glances up at her father, waiting on his approval before she offers her hand to me. Mason nods. Her tiny fingers melt into my palm, and I cup my other hand over hers, holding onto her a little longer than I should. She’s so beautiful, however, the wariness in her eyes says she’s a little broken inside. Her gaze falls to where I hold her small hand inside both of mine. She doesn’t flinch but she also doesn’t return my grasp, almost as if she doesn’t know how to respond to my touch.