Page 106 of Letting Go at 40

Our gazes hold a second before he says, “Smooth move.” He turns to his mother. “That was nice.”

“It was nice,” she says, stepping over to me and holding my lapel to attach the impromptu boutonniere. Her eyes meet mine and she offers me a timid smile. I want to cup her face and kiss her senseless, but we have an audience and I already feel all eyes on us.

“Okay. Pictures,” Anna announces, stepping away from me after one last look, and swiping her hand down my chest, which causes my heart to hammer and another part of me to spring to life.

We gather and pose in various combinations. Anna’s home is filled with pictures of her kids throughout the years with her and Ben. I especially like one of the five of them, laughing at something while they should have collectively been looking at the camera. It’s a good reminder of them as a family. A moment only they remember and freezes a moment that caused their laughter. Like a private family joke.

One I’ll never share with them.

I’d like to make my own memories. A family of different shapes and sizes like Lynlee mentioned only a week ago.

Some days I think we’ll get there.

Other times I’m still not certain.

Mila’s behavior tonight is an example of the rocky road still before us. A highway I need to navigate or reluctantly take an off-ramp. Only, I have no plans to exit this journey.

“You okay?” Anna’s voice breaks into my thoughts as Mila retrieves her jacket and Calvin helps Lynlee back into hers.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“You sure?” Anna’s brows hitch and she bites her lower lip.

Using my thumb to tug that mouth I want to kiss free from her teeth, I nod. “Definitely.”

I won’t be making any detours. I only have one destination with this woman.

“Save me a dance in the kitchen later?” I lean closer to her, inhaling her scent.

“Definitely,” she repeats my word, fighting a large grin.

And I realize I’m already making new memories with her. For us.

Chapter 37

4 Months Ago

May

First Date

[Anna]

February blew into March with an all-out blizzard and by the end of the month I’d had enough of winter. The kids and I went to visit Ruth, Ben’s mother, in Florida during our spring break. Mason took Lynlee to his mother’s place in another part of Florida.

April escaped me as sporting practices ramped up and the end of the school year began. Bryce plays baseball. Mila has softball, and Lynlee is in dance classes and swimming lessons.

“We need to go out,” Mason says one night in May, anxiously digging his fingers into his hair.

“I’d love to go out, but Mila has practice.” I’m team mom this year.

Mason groans. “This weekend?”

“Jenna is coming to visit.” In addition to everything else, after my brother proposed to Jenna, he asked me to help them plan their wedding. They are getting married this coming August at Lakeside Cottage. The romantic in my brother wanted them to take their vows where their love began. Somehow, I’ve become the wedding coordinator.

Mason steps up to me as I stand between the kitchen island and the sink cabinet. He cups my face, kissing me hard and long.

“We need time for us.” He stares at me, pleading with me. An anxious excitement fills his eyes. “And it’s your birthday in a few days.”