Page 77 of Hauling Ashe

“Or he could love it.” I’ve seen how his eyes glow when he plays music. How he’s so lost in his head and the music is all he feels. He’s missed it. Without ever saying as much, I can sense how much he has missed playing instruments, and how deep down he has missed his old friends.

“That could be true, too,” Mati teases, squeezing my wrist. “But either way, I bet he’d love for you to be here with him. He’ll need you, Mae.” Didn’t Jane say something similar? “Because I bet there will be all kinds of questions, and issues and emotions he can’t tackle on top of his daughter getting married.”

“Why would Julia do this? Why would she plan something like this during her wedding?”

Mati shrugs as I often do. “I don’t know, other than she wanted to do something special for him.”

Well, special is certainly one way to put it and suddenly, I know what I need to do. I start the ignition on Louie and put him in reverse.

37

Playlist: “What Hurts the Most” – Rascal Flats

Tucker

I follow Julia’s lead into The Vineyard Inn. The resort is attached to a family-owned winery, once run by an older couple who came to America as young immigrants and settled into their homeland’s heritage—making wine. Julia loves the romantic tale of the two, who died within twenty-four hours of each other. When the wife fell sick, the husband came to tell her goodbye. She passed within the hour. He died peacefully the next day. Now the place is run by their granddaughter, who is also the local doctor, and married to a former MMA fighter. They have three small children.

My daughter loves the romance of this place, although I’ve been told it had a reputation in the past for clandestine affairs. Rock stars would hide out here. Movie producers would lure young actresses to this place for illicit trysts. And there were years when a group of Hollywood women celebrating their divorces arrived as a sort of support group, called the First Wives Club. The new owners sought to rid themselves of that stereotype, as they themselves were married and in love. They didn’t wish to promote adultery on their premises.

And my daughter was about to have a fairytale wedding in a beautiful vineyard while my heart took off down the drive. Entering the lobby, I stop when I see Jude coming toward us. I hear voices chattering off in the distance and a huge sense of loss hits me.

“Wait,” I say too loud. Holding up a hand, I stop my son’s quick approach. “I forgot something.” I begin to pat my pockets. I need to call Mae. I need to beg her to come back. I need to find out where she’s staying. Only I can’t find my phone. Dammit.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” Julia asks.

“You look like you lost your phone,” Jude adds, as I’m anxiously patting my pockets while I spin in a circle. Then I reach for my bag and frantically search the inside.

Fuck it. I turn for the door as if I can catch Mae, as if she hadn’t driven away. I watched her go. Still, I rush back out under the portico, and stare down the drive leading out to the main road.

Nothing. She’s really gone. I hang my head and stare at my feet, covered in flip-flops I didn’t expect to wear other than in my room. I’m not really dressed as father of the bride in my casual shorts and a T-shirt Mae gave me from her brother’s condo. Fox Investments, it says across the back. I’ll be looking into his company when I return home.

“Dad?” Julia calls out once more from behind me. “What are you doing?”

I turn my daughter who looks nothing like her mother and my son who looks everything like my father, and stare at them together. So many thoughts race through my head—all I’ve done for both of them. I love them more than anything, but I recall what Mae said on our trip. Now was her time. Her kids were grown. Her marriage over. Her business a success. She could live a little and that’s what the road trip was to her. I should tell them about Mae. I should explain everything and how differently I feel having met her. How I don’t want to let her go, but it doesn’t appear I have a choice. She’s gone.

“I think I left my phone in the car,” I say instead.

“We can call the service. Maybe she can bring it back to you.”

Bring my heart back? I shake my head and consider how Mae isn’t a transportation company. She is a beautiful woman who went out of her way to get me here as fast as we could go without sacrificing her entire trip. Sacrifice, she said. That’s what love is. I glance up at my children once more and remind myself I made the right decisions. All those years ago, I did what I felt I had to do. I went home.

If I lost my phone, I’ll need to ask Mach to contact Jane who can get ahold of Mae. Will she come back? Or is she too far away? Not enough time has passed for her to travel a great distance. I could still catch her. With renewed hope, I step toward the lobby once more. “I need to find Mach.”

From our check-in last night, he made his flight and arrived yesterday evening. He must be around here somewhere. I head for the lobby and Julia follows me.

“Why is he acting like a psycho?” Jude mutters behind me but I ignore him. I don’t need his attitude right now.

“I need to find Mach,” I repeat.

“He looks different,” Jude keeps mumbling more to Julia than to me. “Tan even. Did you take a vacation before you got here?”

“It’s called relaxed,” I snap, suddenly feeling anything but; however, the last few days I’ve been more at ease than I’ve been in years. In the moment, I’m as tense as I’ve always been.

“Dad, I have a surprise for you. People I’d like you to meet.” I pause at Julia’s hesitant tone. I should finally meet Chopper’s father. His name is Brutus, and he owns a restoration auto-garage where Chopper works. While their last name is familiar sounding, it was too much of a long shot that they’d be related to a man I used to know, and I never inquired. I hated when people asked me about being affiliated with Ashford’s, even though I was one.

“In a few minutes, honey. I need to talk to Mach.”

“You’ve had all week to talk to Mach, and you are two days late,” Jude interjects. “You need to be present for Julia.”