Page 76 of Hauling Ashe

36

Playlist: “Look Away” – Eli Lieb, Steve Grand

[Mae]

The moment I saw the beautiful, young redhead pacing outside the entrance, I knew who she was and who she was waiting on…and I couldn’t stay. I don’t know why I couldn’t say yes, but I couldn’t intrude on this special occasion when Tucker needed to be reunited with his children. He hadn’t seen Julia in almost a year. Her wedding is precious time they should spend together. Tucker also needs to regroup with his son who sent a scathing text yesterday when he learned his father wasn’t in Napa already as planned.

Be mine, he’d said last night. Doesn’t he know I already am his? In heart and mind, body and soul, I belong to him. He’ll always have pieces of me as I’ll have slices of him, but I don’t see how we’ll work.

I should have left him yesterday in L.A. and continued on my way, but I’m weak. I couldn’t be the one to go. He needed to walk away from me, and the winery was the perfect place to make our separation happen.

I’m reminded of how I’d clung to Adam. I didn’t give up on our marriage even though he had. I’d stuck with him during promises and pretty words, and I’d been a fool. I told myself I’d never do it again, and yet I was. I was hanging onto hints of a future when things said might have only been sweet words in the heat of passion.

You’re a road goddess, Mae. Don’t leave me alone on this journey of life.

There’s a long winding drive leading up to the winery, but I can’t see through the tears clouding my eyes. I brake where I am and give into the ache in my chest. The sobs rattle out the open window and my body rocks back and forth. I grip the steering wheel in an effort not to turn around and to hold myself still. I’ve told myself I can take eight minutes to cry, one for each day we were together, and then I need to quit. I need to stop crying over things I can’t have, like a man who isn’t mine.

“Mae?” I turn my head toward the feminine voice softly calling my name. “Mae, is it really you?”

I’m puzzled to find Mati Harrington, now Mati Chance, standing beside the car. With her lion-red hair pulled into a ponytail, and dressed in workout clothing, my sister-in-law’s sister-in-law stares at me.

“Mati? What are you doing here?” My voice cracks and I’m painfully aware that tears are running down my face.

“I’m wondering the same about you, but I’m more concerned about you. Are you alright?”

Staring back at Mati, I’m immediately ready to state my standard answer but fight the phrase I too often say. I’m fine.

I am not fine. I am anything but fine.

“No,” I whisper as the tears fall harder and I grip the steering wheel tighter. “No, Mati. I’m not.” I glance up at her, for some reason willing her to let me explain everything that’s happened. I need to tell someone. I need someone to hear the entire story just to confirm it happened. I fell in love with a man on a road trip and I don’t know how I’ll survive the wreck in my heart.

“Why don’t you park, and we can talk, okay?” Mati hesitates and I slowly nod. I set Louie into drive and pull into the back of the lot beside a large winery truck. Mati helps herself to the passenger seat and I shift to face her. She lifts her phone.

“Give me one second to tell Denton where I am. Then I’m all ears.” She sends her text and then for the next I don’t know how long I tell Mati everything. The spirit trip idea. The coffee accident. The con of my sister who talked me into taking a man across the country. The stops. The fights. The connection.

Mati’s expression shifts throughout my expounding. She smiles softly. Her bark-brown eyes open wide. Her forehead furrows, and then she gives me a sheepish grin.

“You know, Denton and I were supposed to take a road trip once upon a time and he left me behind.” I vaguely remember hearing this story at Dolores and Garrett’s wedding. “We didn’t get to take that trip for almost thirty years.”

“That’s a long time to wait.”

Mati chuckles. “In many ways, I didn’t wait. I lived my life but when the opportunity arose to reunite with Denton, I took the chance. We can’t always understand the paths we’re led on in life, Mae. Sometimes the road leads in directions we thought were right, and they were for a while, like having the children you have. You wouldn’t trade them, correct? But at some point, we need to turn back. U-turn on the road. Whether it’s to make amends with family or find an old love; reconnect with forgotten friends or stick it out with a new one.” Her voice lowers. “Some roads are endless.”

“And some are dead ends.”

Mati laughs once again. “I don’t think this one is, though.” She reaches for my wrist. “The man is Tucker Ashford, right? He’s the father of the bride.”

I nod. “Are you here for the wedding?” I hadn’t known Mati would be here. I didn’t know anyone invited to this celebration and it was another reason not to attend. The spotlight didn’t need to be on the father-of-the-bride’s new…lover? Driver? Friend?

“It’s a funny story, actually,” Mati begins, and I listen as she explains the plan the bride and groom have in store for four long-lost friends.

“And Tucker has no idea?” I ask.

“From what we learned when we arrived yesterday, I don’t think so.”

“Oh my God, this is amazing and terrifying. He could hate this.” I stare out the windshield a second, collecting my thoughts.

“He could.”