Page 94 of Loving at 40

“Time for pancakes,” I announce as I slip out of bed and reach for my boxers on the floor. Leaving Jenna still quiet on the edge of her bed, I stand and pull on my pants before heading downstairs to prepare breakfast.

38

[Archer]

“What’s wrong?” I ask Jenna a week later. Something’s been on her mind since the moment she came home from school.

Rosie and Talia are in bed, and it’s just the two of us. She’s leaning into my chest, and I toy with her hair as we stretch on the couch.

“I have a student who’s in trouble. He isn’t a bad kid, but he’s heading down the wrong path. He’s smarter than he comes across, and I don’t know why he doesn’t apply himself or isn’t proud of his intelligence. It’s like he’s okay to skate by.”

I chuckle at the description. “Sounds a lot like me as a kid.”

My grades were barely above average. Enough to keep me out of hot water with my parents but not on the Dean’s list. I did minimum work and still passed the required tests. School wasn’t difficult. It just didn’t hold my interest when there were girls to chase and parties to attend. Then I’d had that one run-in with the law, and everything had changed for me.

Jenna’s concern doesn’t surprise me. She’s already told me how sometimes she has to remember her students are someone else’s child. She can’t be their parent. She can only offer guidance as a mentor. She believed that high schoolers had capable minds, and despite hormones and dendrite disconnect, they could make decisions on their own regardless of outside influences. She gave many of them more credit than they deserved and maybe believed in confidence not all of them had, but she was devoted to them. Being a teacher was hard work. I’d seen it in Anna those first years when she returned home, and I was still dressed in blue as a police officer.

“What kind of trouble are we talking about?”

“Drugs,” she whispers almost as if she’s afraid to mention it.

“Ah. Well, marijuana is legal.”

“But he’s not of legal age, and he was too high from whatever he took.” This was the kind of shit I was trying to prevent in the DEA. Drug trafficking had a trickle-down effect. Those at the top wanted to get those on the streets hooked, and while we weren’t talking about a big urban center here in Elk Lake City, small towns still had issues with drug use.

“Want me to talk to him?” Even as I ask the question, I’m kidding until the words are finally out of my mouth.

Jenna twists to face me better. “What would you say to him?”

“I don’t know. I could just talk to him.”

She’s thoughtful a moment. “We do have a mentor program. I could ask the school social worker how to sign you up.”

“What does the mentor program involve?” I wasn’t a trained shrink or some miracle worker.

“Just talking, like you said. Students meet with mentors during their lunch period. Depending on the case, it can be once a week or once a month.”

I nod, considering the commitment. “Well, sign me up.”

“Really?” Her face breaks into the first smile she’s had since returning home tonight.

“Anything for you, ’Locks.” I lean forward to capture her lips as I haven’t kissed her enough today. With her distraction, I gave her some distance tonight. Ever since our talk the morning after our date, I’m trying to give her space to sort her thoughts. I’m still in her bed every night, but I’ve backed off on saying I love you, keeping my emotions to myself.

When the kiss ends, she rubs her nose against mine like it’s our new secret code. An exclamation point, but I don’t know what she’s saying.

“I’ve been thinking more and more about what I’ll do next.” I can’t just sit in Jenna’s home, playing houseman every day. I wasn’t opposed to making meals and doing laundry, but I needed to do something other than hang out for long hours watching mindless television. The situation reminded me a little bit of when I was first shot and in recovery. With the slower pace, I had too much time to collect my thoughts, replay situations, recall mistakes, and regret how the investigation went.

Viviana’s father was dead. So was she. A second-in-command had been apprehended. The department had information and locations on several other key players. I could comfortably step away from the case. I had walked away.

“What are your thoughts?” Jenna asks me. I’d already told her I was hoping she could help me figure out what’s next, but the decision is really up to me.

“Typical stuff. Security company. Private investigation.” However, I didn’t see myself entertaining disgruntled wives seeking out the extramarital affairs of their husbands, and as this was a small community, installing home security systems didn’t feel like my thing either. The area did offer high tourism, though, and with an increase in drug trafficking on the Great Lakes, the area needs some Homeland Security. But I didn’t really want to return to that kind of intensity. Unfortunately, I didn’t have another skill set like a hobby. I’d heard of guys opening bakeries, starting coffee shops, and even fishing for a living, but none of that felt like me.

“I guess I’m kind of hoping something will just fall into my lap, which I know is a crapshoot.” I pause, swiping a hand over my head. “But I don’t think school counselor will be my thing, ’Locks.” I don’t want to disappoint her, but that’s not a career path for me either.

“You don’t need to be.” She pats my chest. “Most of our mentors are just community members volunteering their time. We have firefighters, the chief of police, a former CEO, a retired attorney, and more.”

“Good to know.” As she settles back into my chest, I have another question for her. “Why were you hesitant to mention drugs?”