Page 18 of Loving at 40

“No,” Archer hisses. His face widens into the first genuine smile I’ve seen on him. It’s . . . glorious as his face relaxes.

“He’s probably still pining over losing our Jenna,” Mason teases, answering Zack.

My face flames, and the bright sunshine is not my excuse.

“Honest to God,” Logan raises a hand as if taking a pledge to address Archer’s questioning smile. “He had it hard for Jenna.”

Jeez. I shake my head. Richard had been one of many bad decisions I made in college.

“Dick Ball,” Mason states, dropping his voice. “I heard he had a son named Cockin.”

Zack groans. Logan laughs.

“That is not true,” I retort, chuckling myself at the poor choice some people make in naming a child.

“My memory might be fuzzy,” Mason states, completely serious in tone. Then he snaps his fingers. “Oh wait, that was his other child.”

Anna chortles. I shake my head again, fighting a grin.

“He was a cocky little dick,” Logan adds. “That’s why we had to save you.”

My lids lower a second, remembering how I gave my date the slip, telling him I needed to use the bathroom and then called Anna to get me out of that fraternity. I’d overheard him telling his friends how he knew he wasn’t going to have any trouble convincing me to sleep with him that night. Then he grabbed his crotch like he was well hung or overcompensating for small things as most braggarts do. That was my hint to get out. Anna brought the entourage of Ben and friends, which added to my embarrassment. I hated to date and dash, but Richard Ball really did have my creep meter rising, and I will not mention rising or his name in the same sentence around these guys.

“I heard they erected a statue in his honor somewhere on campus,” Mason continues, and Logan snorts, beer spewing out of his mouth.

“Where? Why?” I ask, unable to imagine a physical homage to the guy, but some alumni turn into major university donors and demand recognition in the strangest ways. When Zack begins to laugh, I realize I’ve fallen into some kind of trap.

“It’s a giant pair of blue balls,” Mason teases. “He had them after you left him hanging.” Mason points a finger at his groin area like a flashing arrow sign. “Then again, they painted one green and one white, in honor of the school’s colors, of course.”

“Of course,” Zack confirms.

“I didn’t leave him hanging,” I defend. Escaping Richard as I had wasn’t very kind, but a girl had to do what a girl needed to do to get out of a potentially sticky situation. He called me for a week after that dance before he got the hint I wasn’t interested. I’m certain Richard quickly moved on.

“Sounds like she was a real heartbreaker,” Archer interjects, grinning at the shenanigans while his eyes narrow in on me. He gives me a wink.

“Oh, she’s a ballbuster,” Mason adds, covering his junk as if protecting them while giving me a wiggling brow. “My balls still feel the pain.”

I ignore the salacious grin Mason gives me and the innuendo of Mason and I having once, and only once, been together.

“Really, dude.” Zack chuckles.

“I have balls,” Trevor, Zack’s son, announces from behind me, and Zack groans.

“Not this again,” he mutters, lifting his eyes to heaven, before pressing himself upward from his sand chair. “Hey, little man, we talked about this, remember?” Zack speaks to his child as he walks around my chair to approach his son and lead him away from the group to chat privately.

“Dude, you are so much trouble,” Logan teases Mason.

“I have a reputation to keep up,” Mason proudly states, and thankfully, the subject shifts away from me.

+ + +

After that embarrassing moment, Archer excuses himself to toss a football with his nephews and then toss Mila and Lorna into the waves of the lake. I watch as he rushes the shore, scoops up a squealing Rosie, and walks into the lake carrying her. He dangles her toes in the water as a wave crests, and then he dips her up and down in the rolling water. She clings to him but continues to squeal in delight.

“He’s really good with her.” A smile fills Anna’s voice. A soft hum is my only response. I don’t know how to react to a man who so openly addresses my girls. He referred to them as his girls in the kitchen. He constantly calls Rosie “princess” and keeps his patience with Talia. I heard his conversation with my oldest this morning about bad dreams. Talia is protective of me, and I’ve taken advantage of a child’s comfort to settle vivid nightmares I once had of Ryan’s tragic death. Thankfully, the dreams have subsided over the years.

As I haven’t been on any dates of worth since Ryan’s passing, my girls have never been exposed to a man in my life other than a few of Ryan’s friends who check in once in a while and Leon Ramirez, my teacher friend’s husband. I’m certain Talia doesn’t remember Ryan as she sometimes asks me to describe him in detail despite pictures in our home. For a full year, she was obsessed with death and held the fear I would die as well, leaving her alone. Rosie will never know Ryan other than what she is told about him.

“He’s just trying to make up for the other day.” The gun-and-porn story isn’t something I want to recount to the group, but Anna knows what happened.