Page 99 of Silver Player

“So how was your date?” Grace asks me. We have extended hours through the holiday season, and she’s offered to stay late on this Saturday. Tourism is up as people want the quaint and the quiet of a small town to draw them into the festive spirit. Blue Ridge is pretty with the streetlamps and mini white lights in the trees. Every storefront holds a wreath or plaid bow on its door, greeting customers.

I’m thankful for Grace’s presence as I’ve been distracted all afternoon. At some point, Sadie returned to the apartment, texting me to say she was upstairs. Mr. Harrington did not drive me home after all. Mati did, and I was grateful for her silence after telling me she loved her brother, but she knew he could be a jerk sometimes.

“It was…” What did Billy call our night together? I made love to you.

Fun. Insightful. Hurtful. Before the wall sex, I might have said earth-shattering and a game changer. I suppose even after wall sex, it was game changing. “He lied to me.”

“What happened?” Grace stares at me, but I don’t look up from the stack of books I need to re-shelve.

“He played me, Grace. I thought we were maybe starting something…something different, special even, but he played me. He told me we could work things out about Sadie, and all along, he had plans to seek full custody. He used me to get her.”

I forgot. The words ring through my head. How do you forget such a thing?

“He…wouldn’t separate you from Sadie,” Grace tries to assure me, but even she sounds skeptical.

“I don’t think it’s a matter of separating us. Just establishing his rights as her father.” I swallow the bitterness in my throat. Not that he isn’t her father, but that he never told me he planned to go this route. “He has court or something this week.”

Grace continues to stare and then reaches out for my hand. “Are you sure it isn’t a misunderstanding?”

“What’s to misunderstand? He’s her father, right? And I’m just a woman he had sex with. He used me to get close to his daughter.” Tears well again, and I rapidly blink.

“Oh, honey, I don’t believe that. You don’t believe that.”

My head snaps up, and I finally look at her. “Grace, I wanted to believe a lot of things about him. Believe that he meant what he said when he promised he wouldn’t file, and we would work it out. Those were his words, and like a damn fool, I believed him. And then I fell for his charm.” I made love to you. The tears fall harder, and I cover my forehead with a hand. “He’s a player, and I was played.”

What did I expect? I’d been upset for years that he hadn’t shown any interest in me, and now I feel like the interest was only because of Sadie. I was a means to get close to his daughter, and now he is.

“Was he bad?” Grace’s voice lowers as she holds two fingers a few inches apart. She’s trying to ease the tension.

A sad, weak smile curls my lips, and I shake my head. “He was…fine.” My face pinkens. It’s not even close to how he was or how I felt.

“Do you mean fiiiiine?” She wiggles her brows. For a woman without a sex life, she’s still spunky. Sure, Billy Harrington is fine in the elongated emphasis. His body is incredible with smooth plains and little valleys. And his appendage…phew, I want to tug at my collar and fan myself, but he is more than just sex on a stick—or I thought he was. He opened up to me. He told me about his history.

I made love to you.

Love? No, I’m not certain Billy is capable of it after Rachel. We are physically attracted to each other, and my body betrays me when I think of his.

The way he touched me. The way he kissed me. The way he entered me.

“I’ll just be one of many,” I state flippantly as I pick up the stack of books.

“You don’t mean that,” Grace states, surprise in her tone. “I don’t believe he feels that way.”

“It shouldn’t matter, right? Billy and I have danced around each other for years. Sadie’s the only reason we came together, and I made a mistake.” I swallow over the word. “I let things go too far and got in over my head.” And my heart. “And now, I just need to deal with the aftermath. I won’t lose Sadie to him. Not like this.”

“Roxanne, I think you just need to talk to him. This just doesn’t feel right to me. I’ve seen him around you. He lights up when he looks at you, and he seeks you out. He’s…totally into you…and it’s not just because of Sadie.” I don’t know how Grace can see such a thing. She doesn’t even recognize that Clyde’s always looking at her like she’s something sweet.

I hitch the stack of books into my hands and tip my head. “I’m going to shelve these.” I don’t want to keep talking about Billy. I’m numb to him. Now, if only my heart would get the memo.

+ + +

I’m exhausted, and after a long shower with more tears, I curl into my bed. I’m holding a book, but I’m not reading the words as my thoughts race. A soft knock comes to my bedroom door, and I shift as Sadie enters.

“Hey,” I whisper, my voice hoarse from crying.

“Hey.” Sadie enters and then crawls up on the bed next to me. She lays on her side, her head on the opposite pillow. Her eyes search my face. “Why do boys have to suck?”

I bitterly chuckle. “I don’t know, but they don’t grow out of it.”