Page 202 of Lose You Twice

The report finally opens, and I start reading.

A lot of it is measurements and medical terminology that mean absolutely nothing to me.

Complex cystic lesion.

Homogeneous internal echoes.

Possible endometrioma.

“What does it say?” Mom asks quietly as I continue reading.

Possible pelvic adhesions.

Findings may be seen in the setting of endometriosis.

My stomach drops as I hand her the phone, not knowing nearly anything I just read, outside of one word.

Endometriosis.

“Read that.”

Mom takes it.

I watch her face instead of the screen.

Her eyes move down slowly.

Then stop.

Just for a second.

But I see it.

“You know what that means.”

She looks up. “I know what the words mean.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“No.” She hands me the phone. “And I’m not diagnosing you from an ultrasound report.”

“But an endometrioma is endometriosis.”

“It can be associated with endometriosis.”

“Associated.”

“Yes.” She softens her voice. “The radiologist saw something that can be consistent with an endometrioma. They also noted possible adhesions. Both can be associated with endometriosis, but your doctor still needs to interpret the imaging alongside your symptoms and decide what happens next.”

“So you think I have it.”

“I think this gives your doctor more information to consider.”

“That is the most annoying answer you could’ve given.”

“It’s also the only honest one I have,” she says, coming around the island to stand in front of me. “One test doesn’t give us all the answers, love. Each person is very complex in their own way.”

Justin comes down the stairs with one shoe on.