Page 109 of All Tied Up

Yet Jamie’s mind kept drifting back to him. The sound of his laughter. The shy, blushing looks. The awe in his face when he touched Jamie’s skin. The reverent way he called Daddy Sir, like he’d been waiting his whole life to do it.

But also the way that he loved the lodge, like it was as special to him as it was to Jamie and his Daddy. The way his eyes lit up when he and Daddy were discussing the budget, like his ideas could leap from his lips and spring into action.

It was that last part that finally made up Jamie’s mind. He crept into the office where the blue glow of Daddy’s computer screen was the only sign of life.

“Daddy?” Jamie asked softly.

Sebastian looked up, blinking slowly like his eyes couldn’t focus. The soft skin under his eyes held dark bruises that Jamie wanted to kiss away. This problem seemed like it was too big for him, though.

The eerie glow of the screen revealed a half-eaten sandwich that had clearly been sitting there for hours. Jamie and Ty had both been trying to get Sebastian to eat, but he’d take a few bites and then get distracted.

Jamie had watched him like this for days, and now he couldn’t take it anymore. During the day, Sebastian was rushing around like Jamie, handling the dozens of things that seemed to have all cropped up at once. But the second he had a moment to himself, he just stared off into space.

Jamie pulled out Daddy’s desk chair and climbed into his lap. He needed Daddy’s arms around him, but he also wanted to support the partner who he loved. “Talk to me,” he whispered, resting their foreheads together.

Sebastian shrugged. “Not much to tell. You already know the outcome.”

The outcome, Jamie gathered, was that they were going to have to put the lodge on the market. If they couldn’t sell it in time, they might face bankruptcy.

“Were you able to get an extension on the mortgage?”

“Yeah, six months,” Sebastian sighed. “But not on any of the loans.”

“Did you call Henri?” Jamie didn’t understand the inner workings of their finances, since Sebastian was the one who loved all of that stuff. But Jamie knew that was their biggest loan.

Sebastian's face went cold and removed, even more than it had been a few minutes ago. “I have to tell you something,” he finally said. “About Henri.”

Jamie stilled too, his stomach knotting. “Yeah?”

“Neil looked at the books and he thinks that… well, this might not be on purpose. But he thinks that the amount Henri is asking us for doesn’t make sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“Um… basically the amount he says we owe him has increased each year. But since the lodge isn’t turning a profit, whether we’re buying him out or giving him a share, it should be decreasing. I was going to email him and try to get it figured out once I had the energy for it. It’s… in the scheme of things it probably wouldn’t matter right now. ”

Jamie’s blood had run cold when Sebastian started talking, but now he was burning with fury. “Wait. You mean we’ve been paying him every spare fucking cent we have, and he’s still asking for more? That asshole!”

Daddy seemed taken aback, but Jamie wasn’t going to take back his words. He’d spent too many years feeling hurt and abandoned when Henri left, like he wasn’t good enough. Jamie had never gotten angry, though. Never felt like it was his place.

And now Henri was trying to fleece them for money? Driving the Meadowlark into the ground?

“Like I said, it might be a mistake, but…”

“No.” Jamie was firm. “It’s not a mistake. It’s… I couldn’t see it before, but he used to do this. This… punishment for something he thought I’d done wrong even if it was his own fault. He’d try to hold things over me. He did it to you sometimes, too. We just… It took me too long to see it.”

Neil had been a big part of figuring it out. Neil was just so entirely good. So selfless and eager to please. Ready to help and contribute like an equal partner. Most importantly, he seemed so genuinely happy to spend time with Jamie.

Somehow, Jamie had internalized that if a Daddy had two boys there would always eventually be conflict between them, but the week with Neil made him realize just how wrong that was.

“What do you mean?” Daddy looked stricken.

“You remember when he used to give you the silent treatment? When he needed to ‘take space’ from being your boy because you didn’t give in to his over the top requests? I figured at the time that we were working things out, but he always won because you always caved. The longer we were together, the more he did it.”

Daddy swallowed heavily. “I hated that. I felt so helpless.”

Jamie nodded. “I hated it, too. And I’m finally starting to realize that it wasn’t communication or being bratty or whatever. It was manipulation. He was punishing you until he got his way, and you loved him so much that you let him do it. But he was holding us both hostage with the threat of that silent treatment.”

Daddy rested his head back on the chair, looking exhausted and older than his years. “And he did that with you, too?” he finally asked.