Page 90 of Love Lessons: Expanded Edition

It sounds traumatic for him, you mean.

No, for both of you. You’re wired to want to please and protect your partner, even if the way you do that doesn’t look like what some people might think. So having a scene go wrong like that, to feel that you broke your partner’s trust in a moment that should have been all about listening to and respecting him, sounds traumatic for you, too.

Dustin leaned his head back. Zhong said the same thing. But it just… it seemed so terrible what I did to him. I felt like a monster.

Landon ran soothing hands down his chest. You’re not a monster. It sounds like you didn’t have a good safeword plan that worked for both of your needs and abilities. Your biggest fault here was being a newbie and some bad planning. Not what you want or what you did.

Yeah? It was so different hearing Landon say it. Such a relief.

Absolutely. I really want you to know that I trust you. I trust you to hurt me just the right amount and stop when you see my safewords.

Really? It shouldn’t have been such a surprise. Landon had said it before. But it meant so much more now.

You know what else? Landon leaned in close, signs small like he was telling a secret. A sexy secret. I want you to make me cry. And I don’t want you to stop when I say stop. Only when I safeword. With signs.

Oh, God. Dustin just squeezed Landon to him. How had he gotten so lucky? How was this even his life?

His chest felt like it was overflowing with… still maybe not love yet, but something close to it. Awe. Adoration. A fierce possession and need.

Landon undulated on his lap, and Dustin’s mind filled with dirty things. Like using every toy in Landon’s toy box and maybe some new ones, too.

But that was too much distraction right now. He didn’t want anything between them. He wanted to worship Landon. To paint desire and tender care across every heavenly part of his body.

Landon gazed down at him. You’re my boyfriend now. He looked just as awestruck as Dustin felt.

That’s right. A clean start. No more lessons. Dustin agreed. Can we also… Dustin paused trying to formulate his thoughts. He was so eager to reach out and grab everything, but he really wanted to do it right this time.

He tried again. I want to spend a lot of time with you and get to know you. So if we’re starting over, can we date first? You know, go out for coffee. Try out each others’ favorite restaurants.

Landon squinted. You mean completely vanilla?

Ha! I doubt we could be completely vanilla. Dustin paused to cup Landon’s cheeks before signing again. You are important to me, and I want you to know that it’s not just about the kink. I want to… I don’t know. Go to your students’ graduation and meet your sister and her kids.

Really?Landon looked awed. You really want to do all that?

Absolutely. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind. I want to know everything about you and share everything with you. I want us to have… a solid foundation. Something to build on together that’s more than just sex and kink. He also wanted Landon to know how much he was worth.

Landon flung himself into Dustin’s arms.

God, he would never get enough of holding him. When Landon pulled back, Dustin checked in again. So that’s OK with you? To slow it down a little bit and get to know each other?

Yes. Yes! I’ve never had anyone who cared enough to do that.

Dustin kissed his cheek. Well, I care enough.

Landon gave him a shy smile. I think I knew that from the beginning. That was the lesson you were trying to teach me, wasn’t it? With all of the cuddling?

Yeah, I think it was. I mean, it was hot, too. But I wanted you to know how much I valued you for you. I still do.

Landon blinked his eyes a few times. Thank you. It means a lot to me.

I’m proud of you. Dustin said honestly. I know this is a different type of vulnerability for you, starting a new relationship. I just want to support you. Dustin caught Landon’s hands and pulled them to his lips. Since you’re my boyfriend. He loved saying it.

So does that mean we get another first date? Landon asked playfully.

It looked like Landon had had enough of the serious talk. Which was probably good. Their relationship needed Landon’s own brand of sensuous communication as much as it needed Dustin’s intense commitment. Dustin wanted Landon to be happy, but he didn’t want him to change.

So right now they needed something light right now to get back on track. Dustin let a teasing smile grow on his face. Ooh, I like that idea. Should I take you to dinner first before we hop into bed?