Page 204 of In at the Deep End

The lounge door opened, and Eric came in, his eyes shining.

“I’ll help you pack, then I’ll take you to the station. There’s a train at three-fifty. You’ll be at Waverley in fifty minutes.”

Matt laughed, despite the thoughts spinning around in his head.

Why is Owen doing this? What could possibly be important enough to undo everything I’ve spent two weeks accepting?

He didn’t know whether he wanted the answer.

He only knew he needed to hear it.

Owen opened the door with his key card, and Matt went in.

That last hour on the train, Owen had done nothing but imagine this meeting. The forty minutes since he’d arrived at the hotel had been similar torture.

Will he be angry? Cold? Hurt?

That first sight of Matt as he entered the hotel lobby had sent Owen’s stomach roiling. It hadn’t been that long since Matt had stood in his house, but whatever he’d imagined, he hadn’t counted on Matt looking so tired.

Or on gazing at him as though he’d already accepted Owen was no longer part of his life.

I did that.

They didn’t touch, didn’t smile as they went into the lift. Owen got the feeling neither of them knew how to even begin this conversation.

He hoped the words would come.

Matt gave their surroundings a cursory glance. “This is even swankier than the Savoy.”

Owen recognised deflection when he saw it. “Thank you for coming.”

Matt swallowed. “I almost didn’t. I got to Stirling station and thought about telling Eric to turn the car around.”

Everything Owen had rehearsed on the train disappeared.

He lowered Matt’s bag to the floor, his breath catching. “I owe you an explanation.”

Matt placed his backpack on the armchair. “I think I’d like one.”

Owen gestured towards the couches, but neither of them moved.

“I need you to understand something first.”

Matt’s face tightened, but he remained silent.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Matt widened his eyes, his lips parted, but Owen couldn’t stop, not now.

“I know you think something changed. And it did, but it wasn’t because of anything you did.”

“Then why?” Matt uttered the words so quietly.

Owen could’ve understood anger. Quiet made it worse.

He sat before his legs decided they couldn’t hold him upright any more.

“After the island, I got scared.”