Page 216 of Ex Somnis

Then the noise muffles and fades away, like I’ve put a door between them and me. My heart should be hammering, but instead, it’s gone slow.

“You keep doing their job for them,” he says, his words warm and fond. “Stepping in front. Don’t you ever get tired of it?”

“Never.”

Please let Nevan be right.

And if he’s not?

If he’s not, then I meant every word of it anyway. I’ll be here, and I’ll be fine. I have been practicing being fine my whole life. At least this time I get to pick it.

“It’s you and me,” I say.

“It was always going to be.” Lucien’s shoulders relax with something like relief.

Lucien holds out his hand.

I raise mine.

I love you, all of you.

Forgive me.

I love you.

Please let us be right.

I put my hand in his, and I shake it.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Lennon

I close my eyes, bracing for forever.

I wait for the part where I stop being mine and start being his, but it doesn’t come. His hand is in mine, and we’re shaking. Up, down. And there’s nothing. No heat. No click or lock. Just two hands moving in the cold, like strangers who’ve made a deal about a used car.

My eyes fly open.

The honey is gone. The liquid gold I had Paul, Ridge, and Tessa pinned in, not there anymore, slipped loose the second I stopped holding myself together to brace for him. Ridge’s shadow has bled back into regular dark. The vines lashing Nevan have gone slack, crumbling into nothing.

Not one of us has a scrap of focus left to keep a single thing standing, not through watching this not take.

We’re all scattered around a bare circle of light.

Lucien stares at our joined hands in disbelief. He shakes again. Harder. Then watches my face when he shakes a third time, his grip tightening enough to hurt.

“Why isn’t it working?”

“I don’t know.” It’s the easiest lie I have ever told, because I’m not certain either, not really. I only hoped…

“What did you do?” He’s not asking anymore. He pumps my hand again, furious now. “I know your soul, and you know exactly who I am. You agreed to it. You let go. Why won’t it work?”

“Because you can’t override a promise with a soul contract.”

The voice comes from behind me. Impossibly, he’s still wearing Tessa’s face, but his expression has absolutely none of Tessa’s restraint.

Nevan.