Page 215 of Ex Somnis

I look at Nevan.

Are you sure?

Because I’m not. Not at all.

And the thing about betting everything you are is that you only get to do it once.

His pinky doesn’t waver.

Okay.

Okay.

In the center of the light, the fighting stutters, drawing my attention back to it. Lucien dropped back. Paul and Ridge are heaving for breath, all three of them circling now, spent, waiting for someone to make the next move.

And that move is mine.

The moonstone is so hot it’s a brick of coal against my sternum.

But I stop being afraid.

I raise my hands, and honey floods out of them. It takes Paul first, floats him to the wall, and holds him there. Then Ridge, mid-lunge, is caught and lifted, pinned in gold beside him. Then I do the same to Tessa, even though she’s still pinned by Paul.

Just to make sure.

Ridge roars my name. “Lenny! What the fuck are you doing?”

“Lennon, don’t do it.” Paul is not yelling. His dark eyes are wet. “You don’t get to go. I just found you.”

It would be so easy to let that stop me.

But it won’t. He has to understand. I will be fine.

Hopefully.

“I promised, I’ve got you. I promised I’ve got you, all of you, and⁠—”

“No.” His composure breaks all at once, the whole careful surface of him. “Lennon, please…”

Lucien moves to stand in front of me again with a triumphant grin, shrugging off the last bits of the shadow that were clinging to him.

I find Nevan’s eyes for one last reassurance, and he dips his head at me. I decide against pinning him to the wall too.

Somebody in this room should get to stand and watch me not need saving.

Lucien tilts his head and looks at me. Really looks the way he did right before he peeled the Tessa off me.

Behind me, Paul is still pleading.

Tessa is sobbing my name.

Ridge is tearing himself bloody against my honey. I can feel it, every pull, like he’s pulling on something rooted in my chest.

The panic.

The rage.

The absolute refusal.