Page 178 of Ex Somnis

“Oh, come on, he’s not even real.” Derek reaches out to pick up Mr. Muffin like he’s an item at a gift shop. “Melanie would love⁠—”

“Not real!” Mr. Muffin’s stitched little face somehow manages an expression I can only describe as murderous. “Not real, huh?”

“Derek!” I yell too late.

Mr. Muffin launches himself at Derek’s face, landing a solid hit to his nose with his tiny, felt arms.

“What the…” Derek staggers back, trying to defend himself against a twelve-inch plushie. “Lennon, your muffin just punched me, the little shi⁠—”

“Don’t!” I warn, scooping up Mr. Muffin before he can go for round two, clutching him to my chest. “Don’t insult him!” He’s still swinging, little arms flailing against my collarbone, muttering things like, “Say it again, I dare you” in a voice far too deep for something with button eyes.

“Okay! Okay, you’re real, you’re very real, I take it back.” Derek has both hands raised in surrender, nose slightly pink, looking genuinely rattled by the audacity of getting beaten up by felt.

I’m still holding Mr. Muffin, arms locked around his squirming little body, when I finally notice my fingers are breadsticks.

Oh.

“Yeah, okay.” I exhale. “This is a dream.”

…I’m dreaming.

I set Mr. Muffin down on the counter and point at him. “Behave.”

He looks offended when he crosses his little arms again. “I will when he does.”

I turn back to Derek. “Hasn’t Ridge warned you not to tell the background characters that they’re fake?”

“Who are you calling a background character?” Mr. Muffin complains, but I ignore him.

“Right.” Derek rubs the back of his neck, “Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry for not already having been lucid when you came here. I should’ve had more of Seraphine’s tea, but I think I fell asleep on Paul mid-conversation, which is very embarrassing, but also very on brand for me lately. Like, not Paul’s chest, but the day before it was Nevan’s, only to find he wandered off the next morning.”

Derek’s mouth twitches. “Hey, you guys do you, but I don’t need to hear the details.”

I gasp. “And you claim to be the love of my best friend’s life? She would want all the details.”

Derek is grinning now. “Yeah, but it’s a little weird, given that you’re dating my cousin.”

“Oh, he knows about the others, don’t worry. Do you want to…” I start, but a pull in my chest, like a hook behind my sternum, cuts me off.

In the next second, Tessa is standing in front of us.

“Tessa?” Derek’s eyes go wide, but her face falls instantly when she notices him.

“Great timing. We’ve been trying to reach you, girl. We need to talk about the promise.”

“What is he doing here, Lenny?”

“I’ve been learning how to lucid dream, so I could see you,” Derek says, staring at her like she might dissolve if he blinks too hard. “I’m not doing a very good job yet, but you have no idea how much I…” He shakes his head, hard, like he’s physically throwing the sentence away. “No. It doesn’t matter what I’ve been feeling. How are you? Are you holding up okay? What can I do? I already told your mom to light the cocoa butter candles in your room, so it smells like you in there again.”

Surprise lights Tessa’s eyes. “You talk to my mom?”

“Only recently.” His hands keep flexing, opening and closing, like there’s something he wants to do with them, but has no safe options. “I was a coward, Tessa. Not just back then, but every single year since. I told myself I was doing the right thing, giving you the life you deserved without me weighing it down, but that was my own insecurity talking, and it ruined both of us. I ruined us. I’m so sorry. I know that doesn’t mean much coming twelve years late, but I’ve been paying for that mistake every single day since⁠—”

“I’ve been paying for your mistake,” Tessa bites out, cutting him off.

I briefly consider grabbing Mr. Muffin and stuffing him into Tessa’s arms as emotional support, but then I remember that the last person who touched him got punched in the face, so I reach out and squeeze her hand instead.