Page 106 of Heart Of A Goon II

I held her chin and peered into her eyes. “Cause you deserve everything that you never ask for. To not be an afterthought. It’s my job to think of shit before you can, because you’ve always had to do that, Boobie. I want you to turn your brain off when Daddy’s near.”

She kissed my lips, as she wrapped her arms around my neck. “It’s so hard, Goo.”

“Takes time, but I’m patient. I respect that you’re big dawg, baby, but not when the biggest dawg is around… I handle shit for us.” I touched her stomach, as she smiled.

“Us.”

Bando stared at us both. “He dramatic just like his mama.”

“I resent that.” She stood up and cut her eyes at me, while rubbing her equally dramatic ass dog.

“No, you don’t… dramatic ass.” I slapped her ass. “You made me some fuel after you fucked it all out of me this morning.”

She blushed. “Yes. In the mornings I get everything ready in your mom’s bathroom for her, and I made you some breakfast while she got ready for the day.”

Staring at her, she put her hand onto her hip and rolled her neck while staring back at me. “What you mean, Boo?”

It was hard for me to comprehend what she was telling me. Moms didn’t like help. She actually resented the shit and would struggle before she ever opened her mouth to ask for it. Her pride was big, and I understood. It wasn’t easy going from doing everything on your own and being independent to now having to depend on people.

“I help your mother out when she needs me. In the morning, I run the shower, get her things put out onto the counter so she can reach them, and whatever else she needs.”

“How is she showering? I just brought her shower chair with me.”

Boobie started fanning her hands in her face to keep from crying. “Did you really?”

“Yeah, I know how hard it is for her to shower in foreign places. Wish I could have brought it to her sooner.”

Sniffling, she sat back down on my lap. “I figured out a solution that has been working. The pool chair works great in the shower.”

“She lets you help her?”

“At first, she wasn’t so receptive to the help. I understood though… it’s embarrassing.”

“She so damn stubborn.” I laughed.

Nodding her head, she agreed. “Mommy is very stubborn. She means well though, and she has every reason to feel the way she does. I told her that she never has to do that with me… I’ll help her whenever she needs me.”

When I heard her call my moms Mommy, that shit did something to me. It came out so naturally, and like she had been saying it forever.

“Jesusssss! Oh God!” I heard my mother scream.

Recommendation: Listen to “Thank You Mama” by Sizzla

Zoya had taken off before I could, and then Bando. I held onto the door nearly tripping as I was right behind them going down the stairs. When we got downstairs, my mother was in her chair with her arms around Khaos, while kissing him. When she looked over at us, her eyes widened once she saw me.

“Both my boys together… tah day?”

Tears welled in her eyes as she kissed her baby boy and reached for me. I didn’t even have a chance to put my shirt and sleep shorts on. Had me down here in damn briefs. I kissed her on the cheek, as she held both me and Khaos close to her.

“Only Jah knows... only Jah knows,” she said over and over, as she kissed us both on the cheeks.

This had been a dream of hers for a long time, and I was grateful to make it happen. Her holidays were usually spent with Khaos, and then I would call the house to talk to her. I never pretended that this was easy for her. My decisions were the reason my mother was hurting.

Counting down and praying for her boy while he did his time. Never knowing the outcome because prison wasn’t meant to rehabilitate men. We were tossed in there and told that it was survival of the fittest. Some came home and were never right because that shit was meant to break you.

No matter how many times I let her down, she was always a phone call away. Always praying and speaking positive words to me, because she knew I needed to hear it. The sacrifices she made to come to this country and give us a life wasn’t lost on me. I saw her struggle but never lose her way.

Never complained.