Page 87 of My Sunfall

“Yes, my sunfall?” comes his low reply, barely a breath disrupting the silence.

The words that have been choking me fly out at last. “You are enough, Lucas. You deserve affection, you deserve people to love you.”

His breath shudders and his hold around me tightens before it slacks and he gives in to sleep. When his breathing deepens, I let my tears fall. My quiet sobs echo in the silent room, as my heart shatters for the broken boy and for the scarred man he has become.

Chapter Fifty-Four

Chiara

Two days later, Lucas is released from the clinic. Or rather, he bullied his way out by being insufferable. Even Damiano ordering him to stay and rest had not kept him in place. I had stayed with him in his hospital suite all the time, safe for short trips to the villa to get some clothes and toiletries. He wouldn’t let me out of his sight and blew a fuse every time I stepped out of the room. I even stayed when he, Damiano, and Matteo huddled over business matters. I was stunned to hear the extent of Manticore’s crimes in the city and the amount of blood soaking Lorenzo’s hands. Matteo had traced their nerve center back to a cell in Russia, and they had located another in Italy. Without the head, the foundations of Manticore were beginning to crumble, and together, the three of them are tearing the organization apart like avenging angels. And I know that soon, there will be nothing left of Manticore and their hateful activities.

Now, I regret even less pulling that trigger. The first nights were haunted by nightmares, but Dr. Stone—the therapist who guided me after Lily and I were abducted—helped me navigate the lingering guilt. And the truth I’ve come to accept is clear—the thing I might regret most isn’t taking a man’s life. No. It’s that I feel no shame for doing it. He was a monster, and if I had to do it all over again to protect the people I love, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second. I’ve always been seen as a shy and weak Mafia woman who could be overlooked. But now, I realize that I’m stronger than I ever imagined possible, and I’m ready to show it, to embrace it fully.

Lucas had asked me to hide the fact that I killed Lorenzo. “We don’t know if his men in Chicago will retaliate and I’ll be damned if I put you in danger. Only D and Teo will know the truth. For everyone else, it was me, we clear?”

He has been domineering as usual, even in the car ride to his villa, he has been his overbearing self, pulling me close and invading my space as soon as the door closed on us.

In the living room, he lowers himself onto the sofa without a word, eyes glued to me.

“Do you need anything? A glass of water?” I ask, suddenly flustered under his scrutiny and unsure of what to do.

A slow smile curves up his lips. “Come closer.”

I narrow my eyes. What is his game? I move closer until I am standing between his spread legs.

“Yes, there’s something I want.” His predatory smile makes my heart slam against my chest with anticipation. He holds my gaze for several seconds before a sole word wraps around me with possessiveness and finality. “You.”

Before I can react or reply, he grabs my wrist and pulls me forward, sitting me astride on his legs.

I fall against his chest with a startled squawk. “Lucas, stop! You’ll get hurt.”

“Well then, you’ll have to make the hurt go away, won’t you?” He is grinning now and I can’t suppress a laugh.

“You’re impossible.” I start to untangle myself with a fake annoyed huff, but his grasp is unrelenting as he drags me deeper into him. He wraps his other hand around my neck and pulls my face down to fuse our lips. Then he tangles his tongue with mine in a scorching, heart-stopping kiss. The all too familiar current of desire zaps down my spine, making my toes curl.

“No, Lucas!” I struggle harder now, leaning back and frowning down at him.

“What? You’re not granting a dying man his last kiss?” he complains theatrically.

“You’re not dying.” I huff, rolling my eyes.

“I will, if you get up and leave me here all by myself.”

“Don’t overdo it.” I laugh, feeling my face heat.

“No, cara mia.” He sobers and locks his gaze on mine, intense and scorching. “I’ll die if you leave me. And this time I can say it without you thinking that drugs are involved. I’m ready to die for you. I’m ready to die without you.”

I swallow hard, my ability of speech flying out the window.

He lifts his hand to my face and brushes his knuckles over my cheek so tenderly that my heart threatens to leap out of my throat.

“Do you remember when you dubbed me Phoebus?”

I nod, frowning. It all seems like another lifetime now.

“I was so pissed, because nothing was farther from the truth.”

“But…” I start, “you were dating so many women and—”