Page 18 of My Sunfall

What a perfect peace.

Life has settled into a blissful calm at last, and I enjoy every second of Cara Bailey’s quiet routine. That is the new identity Erin helped me to get. Since I’ve been afraid of slip-ups, I picked a name as close as possible to my real name.

The lunch rush has come and gone, and now there are only some regulars left to enjoy their after-meal drink at the coffee shop before returning to work.

The door chimes as a new customer comes in. No, not a customer. Ethan joins me in two strides and brushes his lips over mine in a tender and chaste kiss, under the delighted hoots of the regulars. I smile shyly up at him.

“Hey, babe, all good?” His deep baritone voice brushes over my skin like a caress. I nod and grin. “Yup, let me finish putting the last dishes in the dishwasher and I’ll be right there. Would you like some coffee?”

“Sure, thanks, babe.” He strides toward a booth to sit down while I load the dishwasher and turn it on. Then I brew two espressos and bring them over. I put one on the table in front of him and sit down opposite him with my cup.

“How was your morning?” I ask.

“The usual beatings and punches,” he jokes, and I laugh. Ethan works as a boxing and MMA instructor at the local gym he owns. And it’s obvious from the ripped arms and broad shoulders showing from under his sleeveless shirt that he is working out a lot. I met him six months ago when I went to the only local gym to pitch my volunteering as a self-defense instructor for women and teenagers. Ethan had immediately liked the idea, offering to lend me the training room above his gym for two evenings a week on Fridays and Saturdays, and even to pay me. But I declined the last part, since I am no official instructor.

The only experience I have is a background of yearslong boxing lessons Lily had made me take since we were fifteen. We had snuck away from Mother under the pretense of going on shopping sprees, when we had, in fact, been going to a gym my sister had found. The instructor had agreed to tutor me, and Lily had sat on the side, cheering me on or studying her lessons while I learned to throw punches and overcome my shyness and low self-esteem. After we had both been taken by Gian Mancini, a traitor working for the Manticore trafficking ring, I had added Krav Maga to my lessons, and had immediately taken to this art.

My heart clenches in sadness when I think about Lily and how much I miss her. But she would have approved of me volunteering.

“…babe?” Ethan’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, I wasn’t listening. What did you say?”

He looks at me with a tender smile. “I was asking if I’ll see you after training tonight.”

“S-sure,” I stammer. “In fact, I have been thinking about training.”

He looks at me with pride. “It’s amazing how much you have changed these women’s lives since you took on volunteering to instruct the classes. Their confidence glows and lights up this town. You are amazing.”

I look down, cheeks heating. “They already had it inside them, I’m simply giving them some pointers to help them unlock it.”

He takes my chin in his hand and lifts my face up so that I have to look him in the eyes. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, inside and out. I know that I am lucky you gave me a chance.”

“More like I had no choice,” I try to tease, face hot from his compliment.

He chuckles and reaches down to take my hands in his. “Damn right, and I would do it all over again. You are worth it.”

I smile at him, but inside my heart clenches. He had been actively pursuing me for the first three months I had started tutoring until I gave in, not because he wore me down, but because I deemed that I was ready to date again. Turns out, I had been lying to myself. Ethan is sweet and caring, and his body is more than droolworthy. It is obvious that he is devoted to me. He is everything a woman could want in a man. If only my pathetic heart could get the memo. I avert my eyes to look down into my cup again.

Ethan clears his throat and I snap my eyes up. “Anything planned tomorrow after training?”

I shake my head, knowing what is coming.

“Let’s go to that new place in the next town—people rave about their grilled rib-eye.”

I smile. “Sounds great, I’ll meet you there after I’ve cleaned up.”

He shakes his head with a tight smile. “I…had hoped that we could drive together and afterward we go back to my place. You…could spend the night.”

My heart stops, and panic claws its way up my throat.

Shit, I’m not ready.

“Ethan…”

“It’s okay, babe. No pressure.” His smile is gentle, but I see sadness in his eyes, and it feels like I just kicked a puppy.

“You can pick me up and drop me off afterward,” I offer lamely, and he nods, face taut.