Page 89 of Pining for You

The quiet little kitchen is suddenly abuzz with activity. Carlos and Eve are making coffee with a pour-over rig. Tía is bustling at the stove in a floral apron. And even Hugo, who shows up in flannel pajamas instead of his Dickensian duds, is at the countertop with a mixing bowl, making his famous eggnog pancakes, which smell like nutmeg and heaven.

“Okay, so we’ve got pancakes going, and I’m making my signature breakfast burritos,” Carlos says.

“Hojarascas are on the counter too. I brought extra home yesterday,” Eve says. “The only thing missing is strudel,” she adds quietly, only to me.

“Well, sadly, you can’t always have strudel.” I sigh and take a sip of my piping hot coffee.

“But what if I want to?” Eve asks.

I literally choke, and when she pats my back, a current runs through me. Once I’ve recovered from my coughing fit and look at her face, there’s no mistaking her self-satisfied smirk.

“I hope you’re all hungry!” Tía says.

“I could eat the north end of a southbound polecat,” Cash says.

We all look at him, and the only thing missing is the needle scratch. I’ve never seen so many twisted faces in one room.

“Yes,” he says, his face lit up like a neon sign. “It means absolutely, yes, always, please.”

Pretty soon, we are all stuffed, again.

“Well, I hate to break up the party, but I’ve got to dig out and get the truck ready,” Carlos says, looking at his phone. “I have to do a delivery to the food bank before we get started for the day. We donate tamales every year on Christmas Eve.”

“Can I help?” Audra asks.

“For real? You aren’t sick of this tamale train by now?” Carlos asks her.

“Impossible,” Audra says. “In fact, if you take me up on this, I’ll be requiring compensation in all things masa.”

Carlos grins. “I think that can be arranged.” Then Tía shoos him out of the kitchen, toward the door.

“Z, let’s talk later, okay?” Audra says, catching Izaac’s hand before she heads into the hall and adding, “And don’t forget what I said. We’ll figure it all out.”

As happy as I am to see this connection blooming, I still fight the urge to call her back. In all the commotion of last night, and with everything happening with Eve, I totally forgot about the mission to bring Audra back with us. Now we’re out of time, and it’s obvious Izaac isn’t going to ask her himself.

“Merry Christmas,” he says to her, his hands resting on her shoulders, before they exchange a final hug.

“I don’t know how we can ever thank you, Tía,” Cash says, turning to Eve’s aunt, then to Eve and Hugo too. “All of you.”

“Are you kidding me? You kids were a gift. A huge help, in so many ways,” she says, looking at Hugo. He’s sitting at the kitchen counter, observing the goodbyes.

I say goodbye to Carlos and Audra, and my mind is swirling with what to say to Eve, how to make this last just a little longer, when Hugo approaches me. He takes my hand, and with the slightest little tug, it’s clear communication of what he wants. I stoop to meet him for a hug, and though he doesn’t say a word, I hear a little hiccup in my ear, like he’s emotional at our leaving too.

When we let go, I see that Eve is standing at the foot of the stairs, observing the scene, and there are definitely tears in her eyes.

“Wait, I want you to have this,” Izaac says to Hugo. He stoops and wraps his red scarf around Hugo’s neck. “It’s kind of like the one Beaker gives Ebenezer Scrooge in The Muppet Christmas Carol.”

“It’s exactly like it,” I say, heart bursting, and I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.

I hope the warmth reminds him there are people out there who can make him feel as seen and safe as he deserves to be.

As Eve grabs everyone’s coats from the hall, Diya thanks Hugo and Tía for letting her help them with poinsettia duty last night. What did they talk about after Eve and I left for our walk to Wade’s? What did Cash and Izaac get up to? We all have so much still to recap from our time apart last night.

But then it hits me that I don’t have the news everyone is going to want me to report when we do debrief. No deal-closing, big adventure-capping Christmas kiss has taken place. I’m going to disappoint them. But for once, I might be more disappointed for myself.

I look at everyone getting bundled up to leave and suddenly, I’m sweating. I’m not ready to give up. Maybe I’m optimistic to the point of delusion, but I’m sure she was as ready to kiss me as I was to kiss her. In the kitchen this morning, on our walk to the bar last night. We’ve had too many almosts to let it end with a never.

I turn to Eve. I’m not even sure exactly what I’m going to say yet. My thoughts are a runaway Polar Express. But before I can steamroll her, she speaks first.