Page 30 of This Changes Everything

“Sure,” Rory answered. He stood, fiddled with his pants to collect himself, then took a deep breath and opened his hand for me to stand with him.

We looked at each other for just one more minute. Just two more minutes. Kara leaned back from the fridge to see what was taking us so long just as we dropped our hands and stare, then joined Kara and Cameron in the kitchen.

I couldn’t have gotten to Juniper more quickly the next morning. It was 9 a.m., and I was on the practice putting green when Jacob and Orson joined me for a putting competition. Another couple of juniors joined us as well, “the randos,” as Hannah called them. Caleb joined, and his dad, Albert Davis, decided to sit in his golf cart and watch us. Well, watch me. I was still waiting for the Campbells to show up when Mr. Davis called me over.

I didn’t want to go over to him, but I did it anyway. After all, he was Caleb’s dad, and he was a member of Juniper, where my parents trusted that I was safe. I had to go, right?

“Hi, Mr. Davis. What’s up?” I turned my head back to my friends and could see Orson looking over at us.

“I went to Portland last weekend and found something that made me think of you.” My stomach rolled as he spoke, his smile revealing his bottom row of crooked teeth.

“What?” I said, surprised. Why would he think of me? I literally never thought about this man, ever.

Mr. Davis reached into the back of his golf cart and pulled out a white bag. He opened it and pulled out a small jewelry box with a delicate green horse painted on top.

“What is this?”

“A jewelry box. Elegant. Effortless. Beautiful. Just like you. You’re growing up into a beautiful young woman, Ellie, and I wanted you to know that I’ve noticed. I want you to have this.”

What? Why would Caleb’s dad want to give me a gift? I barely spoke to this man. Yes, he watched me. Yes, he made me uncomfortable. Yes, he would say things that I found confusing and had found reasons to touch me for over a year now. But . . . he thought I was . . . elegant? What did that mean? I tried to think about all the compliments my dad had given me over the years. This didn’t feel anything like that. I needed Mr. Davis to know that I was not elegant, that I was not anything, but I didn’t know how to say that with his narrowed eyes roaming all over me, burning through me.

I could feel my heart hammering at the base of my throat, growing and choking me with every beat, suffocating me. I lifted my head and looked at Orson, who was still clocking our interaction. He whispered to Jacob, who now had his brotherly attention on me as well. Why was everyone looking at me?

“I . . . I can’t accept this, Mr. Davis. But that’s nice of you.” I didn’t know what else to say. Was I supposed to thank him?

“That’s okay. I understand. You’ll have it one day.”

What did that mean?

I started feeling chilled, and tiny black pinpricks came into view. My insides got hazy, like I could feel myself somehow start to blur. It wasn’t my vision. It was me.

“Take this for now.” Mr. Davis pulled off his wristband, grabbed my arm, and pushed the wristband over my hand and up my forearm. He didn’t let go. His sweat wrapped around me, sunk into me, and everything got darker as his grip tightened around my wrist. It felt like I was doing something wrong, but I couldn’t figure out what, and why did it feel like everyone was looking at me?

Suddenly, Rory, his black hat turned backward, was walking toward the putting green with Blair, but it was Jacob and Orson who walked toward me.

“You good, Hollywood?” Orson asked.

“Ummm . . . I . . .” I looked down at Mr. Davis’s wristband wrapped around my arm and his hand wrapped around my wrist. I felt every particle, every square inch of his skin fusing into mine. I felt his sweat from the wristband, and every word I’ve ever known emptied out of my mind. I didn’t just lose my voice; I lost the ability to think.

“We’re just having a quick chat,” Mr. Davis answered on my behalf, then slipped back into our one-sided conversation. “I saw your mom. I can’t believe I didn’t realize that my company does your family’s taxes. Small world, isn’t it? She mentioned that she and your dad were going to Palm Springs in a couple of weeks. That’ll be fun. You can have the house to yourself. Do whatever you want.” He smiled at me again.

I genuinely could not comprehend what was happening. It felt like everything inside me was being compressed, as if I were physically shrinking. I was so deeply confused, and I still couldn’t speak. Why wasn’t I talking?

Mr. Davis’s eyes dropped, and right in front of Orson and Jacob, he brought his hand up to the sweatband he’d put on me. His finger hooked underneath and lightly swept my skin. “I’ll hold on to the jewelry box for when you’re ready.” When he finally let go of my arm, the tips of his fingers trailed down my side to lightly graze my hip and leg. Was it an accident? Was I standing too close?

Jacob stepped into my personal space. “Let’s go, Ellie-Bee.” Jacob’s voice was low.

Mr. Davis didn’t drive away. He stayed in his golf cart and watched me standing awkwardly on the putting green, shrinking, and shrinking, and shrinking, until I felt like I had disappeared entirely.

Jacob brought me back to the juniors and stood me next to Rory. I think. I wasn’t entirely sure, as everything looked blacked out around the sides, like I was in a dark tunnel, and I could only see the putting green at my feet.

“Hey. Do you want to do something with me tonight? Just us? Like . . . a date?” Rory asked. I think it was Rory’s voice, at least. Whoever it was sounded nervous, but I couldn’t be sure.

I shook my head, barely, more to try to shake off this feeling than to say no to whoever was speaking. My body still wasn’t working. My mind felt as if it had shut off. And I walked away from whoever was talking to me, to try to collect myself, and I didn’t turn back.

Rory didn’t know why I walked away from him without a word. He didn’t know why I went to find my dad and sister in tears. He didn’t know that my dad spoke to the club’s board of directors, and the only question they asked him was “But what did Albert Davis actually do that was harmful?”

Rory didn’t know about the countless people who said that if I felt so uncomfortable, it was up to me to do something about it. It was up to me to choose not to see Mr. Davis again. “Just don’t go back to the golf club,” they said. “What’s the big deal?” they asked.