Page 104 of This Changes Everything

I chuckled. “Is it Orson?”

“It is.” He matched my laughter, but his tears fell, revealing how he was really feeling.

“I can’t hide a body. I don’t have the muscles.”

“I do.” Rory’s voice lifted. He sounded more sincere than he should have.

I gently laid Rory back down onto the pillows, having forgotten that we were naked. He pulled my entire body tightly in to him, protecting me from whatever boogeyman was haunting his mind. I moved his loose curls away from his forehead and held on to the back of his head as he kissed me. I moved my legs around Rory to straddle him, but he pulled me down and wrapped his strong arms around my back, stopping me, steadying me, holding me.

“Are you okay?” I asked quietly.

He shook his head against me. I pulled away, and he looked back with wetness in his eyes.

“Just . . .” Rory wiped his face with his open hand. “Hard conversation.” He shifted me off his body, so I cuddled into him.

“I know.” I nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“I would move here for you. For us. Tomorrow. I would move tomorrow.” He left his lips pressed into my forehead.

“I know,” I whispered.

“Would you want that?” he asked carefully.

“I would.” Everything inside me hurt. I was bruised and fogged and confused. “But, Rory, I know you don’t want to be here.”

“Ellie, I would—”

“Rory, I know you don’t. And the truth is . . .” Along with my deep, shaky breath came a quiet cry that I wasn’t ready to release. “I don’t know if I want to be here anymore, either. I’m waiting on that next tomorrow. I just don’t know when or where that is yet.”

I didn’t sleep all night, and I could tell he didn’t, either.

Rory didn’t tell me until after my workday was over that he had spent all of Monday sitting in his car on the street in front of my office, on his phone or reading a book. He promised he wouldn’t do that again on Tuesday, but he did. On Wednesday, I forced him to go golfing and said I would call if anything happened. Thursday and Friday were spent entirely in bed, ordering food, watching movies, having sex, talking, laughing, falling deeper and deeper in love. When he left on Saturday to meet up with his brothers for the weekend, I cried. I cried all of Sunday, too.

Chapter 37

VANCOUVER 29 years old

WHEN I WENT BACK TO VANCOUVER FOR CHRISTMAS, I DECIDED to stay with Rory instead of my parents or sister. He had a two-story penthouse in Yaletown with floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the water. Flickering lights surrounding Science World’s enormous globe and BC Place lit up his modern apartment. A two-story solarium sat in the corner of the main space, and his balcony had a tree that towered through the clouds. The bottom floor of the solarium was his breakfast nook, and the top floor had a small TV surrounded by pillows and an old-school DVD player. That area, where we watched movies, listened to the rain patter against the windows, and made love surrounded by the city’s twinkling lights, became my favorite place in all of Vancouver. Rory told me it had taken him two years to find the perfect apartment, but he would sell it in an instant to move into my 800-square-foot, moldy Highland Park rental, with Zoë as our roommate, if I only asked.

“When does she land again?” Rory wondered.

I was in a matching pajama set, and Rory was wearing gray sweatpants and a thin white T-shirt. He was leaning against the window of the solarium, and I sat between his legs on the pillows. We had hooked up a Nintendo Switch to the TV and were battling each other on a perfect rainy morning.

It was New Year’s Eve, and we had a full day of nothing planned before we went to Blair’s for his annual Jingle & Mingle New Year’s Eve Party. It was my first time attending, and I would have been lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.

Rory had his arms around me, clutching the controller in front of my stomach, lightly jostling me with every flick of the button.

“This isn’t fair, you know. I’ve got no movement.”

“I need an edge. Just be happy I’m not bouncing up and down on your lap, distracting you that way.” I smirked.

“I accept your challenge,” Rory said, still focused, still playing.

I looked out the streaked window and pressed my fingers against the falling raindrops. “Zoë’s getting in around seven, so I think the plan will be for me to pick her up, and we’ll go straight to the party.”

“Orson’s not doing it?” Rory lunged forward, jostling both of us, to make some sort of move that was supposed to be impressive.

“They’re not together. She’s sworn up and down that he doesn’t like her.”