Page 34 of Tame Me

“Oh, shut the fuck up, kiss ass,” I say harshly. “Jesus fucking Christ. Just forget it. I’ll get dressed. Dinner out in public. Oh, but don’t fucking worry. I’m not a runner. Whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean.”

“Ayla. Is that why you’re upset?” Reid asks.

“You called me…” I start to scream, but his voice overpowers mine, and I shut up.

“Ayla, stop it,” Reid scolds me with a booming voice. “You have never been at risk of running away. Some patients literally run away. No one was calling you names.”

“Whatever,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Am I getting dressed or not?”

“No, you aren’t going to breeze over that, Ayla,” Reid says. “You assume instead of asking, and you’re being cruel instead of navigating…”

“Well, fucking navigate this, motherfucker. I’m done!” I yell at him. “The contract says I can leave at any point I want, so I’m leaving. I’m done. Fuck both of you and this stupid fucking program. I was a fucking idiot to think I could be loved by you two.”

“You don’t mean that,” Reid says with hurt in his voice.

“You have each other now. You’ll be fine,” I say, turning to grab my bag from the closet. I start pulling clothes down from the closet and shoving them into the bag when Thane comes over and gently rests his hands on my hips.

I involuntarily sigh and lean into him a bit, but stop and take a deep breath. “Ayla,” Thane says gently. “Don’t move. Don’t even speak. Just listen first before you respond. Okay?”

“Okay,” I whisper.

“You are triggered right now, Ayla. You are panicking. Scared. Confused. You’re trying to remind yourself that I am not him. That Reid is not him. And we aren’t. You didn’t say it because we remind you of him. When you’d wake up desperate to get fucked, you had been dreaming of us, not him. You were moaning for us in your sleep, not him.”

“What?” I ask, turning to face him.

“You don’t have night terrors when we are both in bed with you,” he tells me. “A few times a week, you’ve been having sex dreams, and you call out for Daddy, but it’s us you dream of… we knew long before you did that it was going to happen. In fact, I knew the first day I met you that we’d be here one day.”

“He fucking died inside of me, Thane,” I say tearfully. “I’ve been raped by him more than I’ve had consensual sex. I can’t call…”

“You can, baby girl,” Thane says, cupping my face. I let my eyes flutter shut, and Reid comes over to rest his hand on my lower back. “You aren’t picturing him in us. It’s your desire to be cared for and spoiled.”

“I’m sorry,” I say tearfully.

“No. Don’t do that,” Thane says. “Don’t shame yourself for reacting exactly the way we told you that you would. The point of this today was to push you to this point because you have to break sometimes to be able to see that breaking doesn’t have to mean it’s the end. It means you have room for growth, and I swear to God, you will grow and flourish.”

“I just want to feel normal,” I say.

“Normal is boring, baby girl, and you aren’t boring,” Thane says. I open my eyes, and he smiles sweetly before kissing me. “Talk to Reid.”

I slowly turn, and he immediately wraps me in a tight hug. “Don’t apologize, baby,” Reid whispers. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”

I start crying quietly, but manage to calm myself down. When I pull back, I wipe my face and sigh. “I feel insane sometimes,” I admit.

“It’s the price we pay to navigate trauma,” Reid says. “I feel insane that I wish I had seen Missy die.”

“It was anticlimactic. He kissed me and shot her with a straight face. I think he’s a psycho,” I say.

“You might be right,” he says with a grin.

“Alright. Alright,” Thane laughs. “Let’s go to dinner and come back for a movie.”

“Okay,” I say with a soft smile.

“And Ayla?” Thane asks.

“Yes, Daddy?” I ask with a shy smile. He grins at me, and Reid chuckles when my face turns bright red. “Sorry. I wanted to see how that sounded.”

“How did it sound, baby?” he asks