Page 44 of Tears of Gold

“Ava, Rita, and Harper have all been returned to the academy. I left them there with Skye, with instructions to keep her safe. Beside a few minor scrapes, Ava’s unharmed. Rita has a burn on her leg, and Harper a gash on his shoulder. Nothing that won’t heal up in a couple of weeks.”

The iron ball of worry in my chest shrinks. They’re all okay. “Go . . . od.”

“There’s something else.”

I grunt in a very undignified way as he wipes the rest of the makeup off my face, fairly certain I’ve used up all my words for one day.

“Ava’s memories returned tonight.”

My eyes pop open. “They did?”

A small smile graces my aide’s face. “Yes, she seemed at odds with Harper, although she assured me he didn’t force anything on her.” He watches me closely. “She went directly to the dragon upon arrival and hugged him. I observed from a distance for a minute before leaving since I knew you’d want to ensure she was safe.”

I’m too tired to flinch, so I just stare at him. If he was expecting me to fume that she’s with Skye, he couldn’t be further from the truth, and the way he’s slyly watching for a reaction makes me wonder if he suspects.

“That . . . makes me very . . . happy,” I whisper sleepily as I lay down on the bed.

“My lord, you’re in court dress. Allow me to assist you.”

“I thought something was . . . strangling me.” I fade in and out of a doze as Vanrey takes off my shoes and loosens the constrictive tunic with its high, stiff collar. The blazing heat inside of me begins to dissipate. I’m not back to my comfortable, icy inner self, but at least I’m not burning up.

It takes me a moment before I work out why. “Are you . . . trying to heal . . . me?” I mutter.

“I’m doing what I can,” he says, voice strangled.

Suddenly, I focus. His hand lies on my bare skin, and I have not a single whit of a shield in place. I grab his wrist, digging my nails into his tender muscles, my anger swelling at his liberties and the danger this could bring to my lovers.

He meets my gaze, the sheen of tears in his fierce green eyes pooling against his brown lashes. Can I trust him when I’m so vulnerable? My muscles spasm, and I release him with a sigh. I’m not sure I really have a choice. As far as I know, he hasn’t tried my mind, only looked at my qi, and my father didn’t raise any questions about Ava last night—or Skye, so he’s kept my secrets until now. But the pitying look in his eye is unbearable.

I turn my face away. “I guess I can’t . . . hide it from y-you then.”

His jaw tenses. “I should never have left!”

“It would have made no . . . difference. Can you defy the c-crown prince and live to . . . tell the tale? If you witnessed, he would have had you k-killed. Better that you . . . weren’t here to do something stupid . . . like I did.”

He gently checks my bandages and his adam’s apple bobs for a long time before he speaks. “Can you leave?”

I shake my head. “The emperor has not yet . . . given me his p-permission. And now I’ll need to turn . . . myself in.”

“For what?”

“Striking the Exerin . . . heir.”

Vanrey swears, and I look up in surprise. I think it’s the first time I’ve seen him lose composure. His lips flatten together. “You should have made it fatal.”

I press my cheek deeper into my soft pillow. “N-Never speak that . . . way in my presence . . . again.” After tonight, my loyalty is already hanging by a thread, and if the emporer ever discovered it, we wouldn’t live through the night.

“Forgive me, Your Highness. It’s just, your qi . . . how are you bearing the pain?” He tucks me into bed like a nursemaid, gently covering me with the goose-feather comforter.

It’s a good question. I’d say it’s less that I have a high threshold for pain and more that I have an iron-clad composure from years of practice. Inside, I’m writhing and screaming like a criminal impaled on a stake.

He clears his throat. “I’ll leave you now. I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

I’m sure he means to stand guard outside my door all night, and I don’t like that idea. “V-Vanrey.” Besides, if I’m left alone in a dark room, thoughts of Anik will continue to haunt me. I wouldn't put it past him to seek me out in the middle of the night, either.

“Yes, my lord?”

“Have a . . . mattress brought in here. We’ll b-both need a good . . . sleep tonight.”