Page 17 of Flawless

I blushed, dipping my head. “That obvious, huh?”

He chuckled, locking my legs down with his. “In the best possible way.” His expression was serious when he cradled my cheek in his hand and forced me to look at him. “You’re okay though, right? I didn’t hurt you?”

I flat-out melted. Because the way this man looked at me, like I was some priceless treasure he’d never expected to find, was unbelievable to me.

I’d always kept my guard up for a reason. To protect myself. Because the people who were supposed to be there for me, proved to me you couldn’t count on anyone, so I’d learned to rely on myself.

But here was this guy, who showed up out of nowhere, almost making me believe I could count on him.

“I feel amazing.” I kissed his chest, trying to hide the sheen in my eyes, because this shit was getting a little too real.

“Good.” He kissed my forehead. “How’s your mama? I should have asked that earlier. But I got so caught up trying to convince you not to write me off.”

It made me happy that he’d remembered to ask at all. Given how horrible she’d been to him, and me, at the hospital I wouldn’t blame him if he never wanted to hear her name again.

“She’s doing better. They’ll be releasing her tomorrow, I think. It doesn’t look like she’ll need the angioplasty or stent.”

“That’s good.”

“Thank you for going to the hospital with me. I’ve never…” I didn’t want to sound weak or vulnerable, but I really valued honesty and he’d earned that.

“You’ve never what?”

“Um, had anyone to do anything like that with me before. If there was an emergency, I always just dealt with it alone.”

“Jesus, Ry. You’re breaking my heart.”

“I don’t mean to.” I sat up so I could look him in the eye. “Seriously, I don’t want you to feel bad for me. It’s all good. I just wanted you to know I appreciated having you with me last night, that’s all.”

He pulled me back down on his chest and hugged me tighter. “You’re so damn strong. I don’t think I could have endured what you have.”

“Pretty sure you could have, tough guy.”

His praise meant a lot. But his respect meant everything.

“You give me too much credit.” There was a beat of silence before he said, “Look, I know this isn’t going to be easy. But we’re both used to hard. And I’m game, if you are?”

I didn’t know what he was asking. Did he want more of this? Random hook-ups when our schedules would allow? Or was he asking for more, like a long-distance relationship?

“Ry…?” He tipped my head back, forcing me to look him in the eye. “Talk to me. What are you thinking?”

“People have opinions about us. Just like I knew they would.” Most were positive, some were negative. A few even accused him of cradle robbing, which was ridiculous, since I’d dealt with more crap than most people twice my age.

“Let them talk. I don’t give a shit about that. I asked what you’re thinking.”

“I’m thinking,” I said, tracing his chest tattoos with my fingertip. “That this feels really good. And if I’m not careful, I could get used to it.”

“You don’t want to get used to it?”

I sighed, rolling on my back as I stared up at the ceiling. These four walls represented safety and security, something I’d never had before I signed my first contract with Spencer Records a few years ago. Before that, I’d been living hand to mouth, playing bars and festivals praying I’d make enough to pay my bills that month.

But everything felt different now. I was different. And I finally felt safe and secure in the life I’d built. But if I let another person in, would I be compromising that? Giving him too much power… to hurt me. And leave me feeling unstable and vulnerable again, when he inevitably left?

“I want…” Speaking the truth about my deepest, darkest fears and secrets didn’t come naturally to me. I’d never been an oversharer. I believed in letting people in on a need-to-know basis, but freezing Cam out would ensure I never had another night like this, and I wasn’t ready to let him go yet. “To be with you. But my heart is telling me to keep you at a safe distance.”

He rolled onto his side, looking more curious than upset when he asked, “Why?”

“Because that’s what I’ve always done in relationships. I never let anyone get too close.” I bit my lip to keep it from trembling because I was determined not to cry. “Letting people in, relying on someone, opens you up to a world of hurt.”