Page 54 of Beneath the Quiet

“I’m blunt, I know.” I lean closer as if I’m about to tell him a secret. “Part of my charm.”

He huffs out a laugh. “You’re something, that’s for sure.”

Glad the mood has lightened, I grin up at him. “Is that a compliment or an insult?”

“Definitely a compliment.”

Amusement dances in his eyes, and I can’t help the satisfaction I get from seeing it. I hate to put a damper on it, but the next words need to be said, especially before Katie returns.

“Look, Aidan, there’s something Katie said before you joined us that I think you ought to know.”

“I think I already know what it is.”

The low timbre of his voice makes my body break out in goosebumps.

“Oh?”

“Yes. She thinks I’m sad, doesn’t she?”

My lips curve in a faint apology. “Yeah. She does.”

He sighs and looks away. “She’s said something similar to my parents, and I meant to speak with her about it, but I just haven’t found the right moment yet. I’m not sad, but sometimes, the memories are harder to push away than others, and today is just one of those days when the absence of her hits harder, you know?”

I follow his hand as he rubs it across his chest.

Over his heart.

My own does a little jump.

“Do you think you have to bury the memories all the time?”

“Maybe not, but that’s how I’ve coped so far.”

Understanding dawns on me, and I work my lips between my teeth. Aidan narrows his eyes.

“You’re not done, are you?”

I move my weight from one foot to the other.

“We don’t know each other that well yet. I’m worried I’m overstepping.”

He crosses his arms on his chest, keeping our gazes locked.

“Maybe you’re right, but you should know something important about me, Maeve.” He raises his eyebrows, his eyes wide open.

“What’s that?”

“That you can’t start something and not finish it. Your half-finished sentences will haunt me all day and through the night, and I’ll end up phoning you, waking you up to demand that you tell me what you mean.”

I shake my head at his attempt to make light of the situation.

“I’m not a psychologist, but maybe it’s not the right thing to keep doing it like that. Maybe it’s better to talk with Katie about your pain instead of keeping them from her. She’s getting older, and children can handle much more than we think they can.”

I let out a shaky breath and curl my fingers into fists.

“I don’t think you can move forward in your life if you keep blocking out the past. It’s not healthy for you, or for the rest of your family.” I pause, watching him as it looks like he’s considering my words, before I shuffle away from him. I jerk my head to the polytunnels. “Still want to show me the life of a modern farmer?”

Aidan furrows his brows but nods. “Sure.”