Page 48 of Lovestrung

I couldn’t say no. How could I refuse my friend? Tomorrow, I’d leave this house and only come back on short visits. Our paths in life were different. I already knew this, even if she hadn’t thought about it yet. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that our relationship would change. It felt as if the more stuff I packed to go away to college, the weaker the link between us became.

“All right.”

A smile as bright as the sun lit up her face, blinding me for a few seconds. It spurred me into action and I raised my other hand until both cradled her face.

“Close your eyes, darlin’,” I whispered. Her eyes widened at the endearment I let slip, but I ignored it. “Wrap your hands around my neck and relax.”

She did as I told her, and I gritted my teeth at the feel of her small hands caressing the nape of my neck. Once I couldn’t feel the burn of her green eyes on mine, I could think more clearly. It went without saying that I had to be gentle with her and not betray her trust. I lifted my legs until they were nestled around her body and tried to urge mine to stop trembling like weak leaves blowing in the wind. It seemed impossible as my hands tilted her face to the side, but once I brushed the corner of her lips with mine, lingering for one long heart beat and I felt her relax into me, the trembling lessened. I focused entirely on her. On making this kiss sweet, yet memorable. I kept my eyes open, watching her lashes flickering against her high cheekbones for any sign of discomfort, but when I caught the soft sigh falling from her mouth, my instincts kicked in and I allowed myself to enjoy it.

I couldn’t kiss her the way I wanted to, but I could be tender.

My mouth nibbled lightly on her upper lip before moving to the bottom, tasting her softly, all the while chanting silently that this would have to be enough for her. My body felt taut the more she inched into my arms, and when I felt her small breasts pressing against me, I gasped, letting out hot air against her mouth. I felt her mouth open for me, taunting me to let go, to let my tongue sweep in and taste hers, but I stopped before I risked being carried away. I wished time would stand still so that I could keep kissing her,

Just a little more.

My dick ached as it swelled, but I kept myself in check. I couldn’t allow her to feel how much her sweetness and innocence was affecting my body and I kept my mouth light, brushing her lips over and over, even though I wanted more. This wasn’t for me. It was for her.

I didn’t know how much time passed, but eventually, I started to pull away. But I couldn’t resist tugging slightly on her full bottom lip with my teeth, making the sweetest moan fall from her mouth, and I grinned as I leaned back. When she started to move with me, though, I kissed the tip of her nose.

“Open your eyes,” I whispered.

Again, she did as she was told, blinking slowly as if she’d just woken up from a slumber. Gently, I thumbed her cheeks before releasing her. Looking down, I noticed the outline of my hard dick against my pants, and I stood up abruptly and walked back to my desk.

“Ethan?”

Her small voice sounded so uncertain that I had to brace my hands against my desk, gripping the edges hard to avoid going back to her.

“Now you’ve had your first kiss,” I grumbled, my voice even huskier than before.

I could hear shuffling behind me but I refused to turn around. If she saw what the feel and taste of her lips had reduced me to, I’d die of shame.

Fifteen. She’s only fifteen!

“Yeah. Now I know.”

Her footsteps echoed on the hardwood floor, making my heart pound to each step she widened the distance between us, but I didn’t relax until I heard the sound of the door creaking when she opened it. My head low, I released the deathly grip from the table and let out a long breath.

“Thank you.”

I tensed, cursing silently for deluding myself into believing me she’d already left.

“No thanks needed.”

“It was beautiful,” she sighed. “You made me feel beautiful. I’ll never forget it.”

I clenched my teeth, anxious for her to leave me the fuck alone. Still, she kept waiting, but I couldn’t face her, and finally, I heard another soft sigh falling from her lips followed by the click as she closed the door behind her.

“Fucking coward,” I growled as tension seeped through my blood.

Yes, I was a coward. For making her promise me our friendship wouldn’t suffer over this to then turning the tables around, pulling away from her the second it was over. I felt like an asshole – the exact same kind of guy I’d told her not to gift her first kiss to.

I scrubbed my face, boring my eye sockets into the palms of my hand until the anger started to ease, and I felt I could see more clearly again. Remorse rose in my soul at the way I’d brushed her off. The right thing to do was to go after her, to apologize for the way I’d acted, but my feet stayed firmly planted where they were. Too much time passed, and I knew it was too late to run after her.

What could I say? It was best to leave well enough alone and move on. Frustrated, I went to my closet, found my suitcase, and started to throw my clothes haphazardly inside it. The longer I stayed in this house, the worse it would feel to say goodbye, and I couldn’t risk it.

My eyes fell on the bed in front of me, the covers tangled and showing the imprint of where she’d been only minutes ago. Agony tore through me and I closed my eyes, welcoming the memory of our kiss. I let it play through my mind over and over for a long time, as if it was a scene from a movie, and then I shut a lid on it.

I buried it deep and locked it away, never to be opened again.