Page 78 of Pretender

What are you up to?

Before talking to Jamie, I was furiously flipping the bean thinking of you and I’m mortified right now.

Definitely not writing that.

I search my room for an idea and my gaze falls on my open wardrobe and a red dress I wore for Christmas once.

Watching a Norwegian TV show. Home for Christmas

All for getting the Christmas feeling in summer. I bloody love Christmas. Wish we had more snow here though. Imagine Mayfair covered in a fluffy white blanket

I used to have snow for Christmas. My parents would take me home to Oslo to see family. But the streets on this TV show are to die for

Googling it now.

Oh wow. I want to go there

Can’t you just hop on a jet and go any day you want like we did earlier this week?

In theory, but always taking what you want exactly when you want it removes some of the fulfilment. I’ll wait for a while, make sure it’s the right move, and when I finally decide to go for it, it’ll be more gratifying

Why does this turn me on again? My mind is so far in the gutter I can’t tell if he’s talking about travel or orgasms.

Mmm, did he masturbate today? Wonder how often he does it. I bet he’s insatiable. Oh, now that’s an image to linger on. Maybe he drags it out to delay his gratification like he just wrote.

Thank you, Jamie, for inserting his cock into my imagination too, just to add to my list… Oh God. I’m aching for it. I’d like him to insert his cock into—OH MY GOD. Stop it.

Months of nothing, complete drought in the downstairs region, and it’s all hitting me now. Fucking flooding in comparison, all since that blasted sex dream about Aiden.

I have to get that orgasm out now, or I’ll just be forced to avoid him, because I need to stay rational around him. And this, this fucking need, is anything but rational. Anything but safe.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

he has small feet

AIDEN

It’s been a long week since our return from Florence. After she asked me to meet her friends, she’s been very quiet, and it’s unnerving. I texted her three times to check in, and even tried to make her come to Grafton House for a review.

She promptly answered, asking if Olga can do it or if she can come later.

Super busy catching up with Venetia after Florence

So our fake dating plan is working. Linnea’s happy, working with Venetia. Mum’s happy.

But I’m not.

I thought I was getting somewhere, for a moment. There was so much emotion in her eyes, but I suppose what I mistook for affection was exhaustion mixed with gratitude.

After falling asleep tucked against my chest and snuggling my arm like a pillow, I hoped it was a turning point.

It was not.

The day after, Linnea was back to being as she’s always been. She was grateful for the trip and kind about it, but nothing extra. Nothing new. I tried to convince her to stay longer, maybe we could enjoy Florence together properly. Maybe she’d look at me that way again and there’d be something real in her eyes. But no. She had to get back.

I stare at my phone and the messages between us. At least I get to see her at the picnic this weekend. We have three more weeks until Mum and Will’s wedding.

Huh… This fake relationship has already survived a month.