Page 251 of The Silent Appeal

Page from a decorative journal belonging to Isabel Beck:

TODAY JUNE 5, 2025, 5:45 P.M.

I’ve put the date on this page because I might need to know in the future when exactly this all happened. I’ve got so close to Nicky-Rose these last few months. We have lots in common and she’s like the sister I never had. But she wants me to do something and I wonder if it’s entirely legal. That’s why I’m sitting in the toilets at Squires, with the envelope she wants me to give Trina in exchange for a bag.

If there’s something dull in here, I’m going to seal it up again, but if it’s something strange then I’ll play it by ear, as my nan used to say. Here goes.

Things I’m grateful for:

My nan always making me so early for any appointment, I have time to open this envelope, read what’s in it, and seal it up again before Trina arrives.

Squires, for not minding that I’m still in the toilet after ten minutes.

Nicky-Rose having a house to sell so Trina could clear their company debts.

My training as a nurse, which taught me enough about drugs to know these sheets of paper covered in daisies are illegal, and need to go straight back in the envelope.

How I feel right now:

Sweaty

Shaky

Like I’m about to step onstage, but worse

Terrified

Now I have to go out and wait for Trina. She’ll buy a coffee, then give me a bag. I’ll give her this envelope and once we’ve finished our drinks, we can go. I’m to take the bag with me to Fairways and give it to Nicky-Rose. If Trina wants to know where Nicky-Rose is, I’m to say “out of town for a few days.”

Does that make Nicky-Rose and me partners in crime? Literally.

* * *

Trina looked old and tired compared to the picture Nicky-Rose showed me. She didn’t buy a coffee, just sat down opposite and asked my name and did I have what she came for. I asked where in America she was from and after a pause she said “Toronto.” I pushed the envelope across the table. She clicked open her little bag and showed me what was inside.

I asked if it was real money. She said yes, Barbadian dollars.

As soon as I got hold of the handle, I stood up and left. Even though my iced macchiato with caramel syrup, almond milk, and an extra shot of espresso was only half finished. Sweat was pouring down my neck. I stumbled out and got to the hall in a daze.

Nicky-Rose was waiting outside the church hall, looking so calm, like she was waiting for a bus. She took the bag and put it in her car. I noticed she was wearing the friendship bracelet I made her. It’s funny, but for all these months my heart leapt when I saw her, and now it was like I could see she was really only my friend for this reason. Because if she asked me for help, I’d say yes. I sat in the green room to calm down. Then, just before Kevin did his speech to the cast, I took my friendship bracelet off.

Message exchange between Lucas Stibson and Georgia Taccuso on June 5, 2025:

6:01 p.m. Lucas wrote:

Did you tear a dose off a daisy blotter?

6:03 p.m. Georgia wrote:

Yeah because I fancy tripping at six months pregnant.

6:04 p.m. Lucas wrote:

Don’t be a shit. Did you?

6:04 p.m. Georgia wrote:

NO!