Page 64 of Sudden Summer

My message sat—unread—as I sipped my tea. It was getting easier to use my right hand again, but there was this weird ache that sat against my chest whenever the dull pain flared.

My phone vibrated on my lap, and I set my cup up on the railing to check what had just come in.

Mom: I’m just coming out of an Ayurvedic sunrise massage. Let me slip into a robe and I’ll give you a call.

Ayurvedic sunrise massage? That didn’t sound very Napa. But what did I know? I’d never been more than an hour or two away from Silver Springs. Meanwhile, as soon as I was old enough to take care of Lainey, my mother took off for weeks-long trips with men she’d just met and ‘felt a deep connection with’.

My phone rang, anticipation of what Mom was going to say sitting sour in my stomach.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Birdie! It’s about damn time you got a hold of me! My God, I’ve been worried sick. Are you working today? Did you just get off your shift?” There wasn’t a single ounce of worry in my mother’s tone, but she’d said the words. She’d set the guilt off, leaving it to sit in my chest.

“No. It’s not all that early in Silver Springs. I’m just having tea on the porch.”

“Well, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for days!”

“I know. I’m sorry, things here have just been…” I released my breath. “Anyway, we haven’t talked in a while, and I missed hearing your voice.”

“Oh, good! I thought something was really wrong…” Mom’s voice trailed off. “No, no, Dallin. I’ll be right there. I’m just ordering us some room service.”

Classic Annie Calloway. Whoever this Dallin was probably didn’t even know she had a family. It wouldn’t be the first time I accidentally popped in and ruined the child-free illusion for her.

“Are you still in Napa?” I asked.

“What? Oh, no. God, no. What a boring town. I’m in Arizona now, I’ll send you the information on the place I’m staying later. It’s amazing, Birdie. I’m working on healing my soul. You and Lainey could do a sisters’ trip out here sometime.”

With what money? “That’s great.”

“It really has been. You know, I’ve only been trying to get a hold of you for the last two weeks because I’ve noticed that there hasn’t been any money deposited in my account. Is everything okay?”

I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “Yeah, Mom. Lainey just needed some help, and that made things tight for a little while.”

“Okay, yes, yes, baby, I’m coming!” Again, her voice had turned away from the phone before growing louder as she brought the phone back to her mouth to talk to me. “I have to go, but text me when you make another deposit so I can plan my trip home to see you and your sister. Okay?”

“Yeah.” I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice. I was just an ATM for her. And Lainey, too, it seemed.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, clearly hearing it anyway.

“Nothing. I just…it’s just been a rough couple of weeks. I had a scary thing happen at work and got hurt, and then Beau⁠—”

“Are you going to sue them? Birdie, that could be life-changing money!”

Right. Life-changing money for her to tap into. Because if she could squeeze something more from me, she would. “I’m fine, Mom. Thanks for asking.”

“Well, honestly, of course you are fine. You’re talking to me on the phone.”

I nodded, numbness washing over me. “There’s nothing to sue over. Like you said, obviously I’m fine. I’ll talk to you later. Go be with Dallin. Wouldn’t want you to keep him waiting.”

“Don’t sass me, Bernadette. I just want to make sure you are thinking clearly.”

“I am thinking clearly. Very clearly. You couldn’t have cared less about why I was calling beyond wanting money from me. I can’t do this anymore, Mom. I can’t be the one always responsible. I needed you to care that I was hurt. It wasn’t just at work! Someone came into my house. They tried…” My voice caught and I cleared my throat. “They hurt me. But how can I expect you to care about that when you were the first person to hurt me and not give a damn?”

“Stop being so goddamn dramatic. How dare you speak to me like that? I don’t care how badly you are hurting, you do not disrespect me like that. I am your mother⁠—”

“You stopped being my mother the moment you left me home with Lainey for two weeks to run off with Stu from the used car lot in Bell Ridge.”

“You were old enough to babysit your sister.”