Page 9 of Always Be My Pumpkin

‘It was one stupid mistake, that’s all. Come on, Gracie. Nobody’s perfect.’

‘Jamie, just leave me alone.’ I try to sound strong, determined. This time it’s over. It has to be.

‘I have no intention of leaving you alone,’ he snaps. ‘Scott told me, you know. That loser, Anderson, is back. I hope you’re not hanging around with him.’ He huffs down the line. ‘You know he’ll leave again, don’t you? And I’ll be the one to pick up the pieces, like the first time.’

‘Bastard.’ I choke out the word, and I hate that I let him hear the hurt in my voice. Jamie’s always known how to root out my weak spots, especially when it comes to Flynn.

‘You know I’m right, Gracie. Look, I have to go, but I’m coming home as soon as I clear things at work, and we’ll fix this. In the meantime, stay away from Anderson, please.’

I drop my phone onto my lap as he hangs up. And I only realise I’m shivering when I look up and see Flynn coming through the door.

‘Are you okay?’ He dips his head and holds my gaze. ‘I take it that was Jamie.’

He sits down beside me and starts to rub my back to stop me shivering, but then pulls away again, as if he’s not sure it’s okay to touch me. I close my eyes and lean my head against his shoulder. I shouldn’t. I’m only confusing myself even more. But I’m cold and I’m shaky, and Flynn feels so warm, and solid, and safe. Just like he always used to feel when I needed a shoulder to lean on. And God knows I needed him a lot that last year. Before he left.

‘I’m sorry. I should go home.’ I try to smile but it doesn’t take. Instead, I release a shaky sigh as I stand and look down at him, wondering how ten years can feel like it’s passed in the space of a heartbeat. ‘Maybe we can catch up again before you leave.’

5

‘No way! Not happening!’

‘But what else can I do?’ Scott’s voice is high-pitched and pleading. ‘I promised.’

I pause at the top of the stairs. I’m barefoot and wrapped in a towel and on my way to grab a glass of water. Scott and Sarah usually go for a jog around the lake on Saturday mornings and I get the house to myself for a few hours. I’m surprised they’re back so early and even more surprised to hear them arguing. They’re generally in great form after a run, high on dopamine and fresh forest air. But this sounds serious, and none of my business, so I turn to pad as silently as possible along the landing to my room.

‘And what about Gracie?’ Sarah yells. ‘She’s my best friend. And after what Jamie did, you expect me to tell her that you’ve invited the bastard to stay with us.’

Her words hit like serum freezing the blood in my veins.

‘But Jamie’s my best friend. And he’s family. His new place isn’t ready yet, and he says he needs to be in Oakwood, and there is nowhere else.’

That’s exactly what Jamie would say. Even though his parents have a mansion, and his father manages almost every rental property in the county. And Jamie always worked out of their head office in Abbeyville, so there’s no reason for him to base himself in Oakwood, apart from me.

My hands shake as I sit on the bed and try to pull on my jeans. I should have seen this coming. London was only meant to be for a couple of years. Then we were supposed to come back together and crash with Scott and Sarah until we found a place of our own. Or until Jamie persuaded me to move even further. I hoped we’d stay in Oakwood, but Jamie had his sights on Australia long before we broke up.

After everything that happened, I assumed he’d stay in London. Or go on to Australia without me. And it’s been almost a month since the incident. Why is he only contacting me now? Was he really too upset? Scott did tell Sarah Jamie was devastated when we finished.

We’ve broken up before, when I told him I didn’t want to move to London because he ‘felt like a change of scene’. But as far as I know, he never cheated on me while we were together. At least, that’s what I believed until I saw the smug look on Olivia’s face.

Olivia worked in their head office in Abbeyville as a trainee estate agent. She’d only been with them a year when Jamie’s dad told him he was opening a branch in London, and Jamie decided it was the perfect opportunity to make his mark.

Then Olivia asked if she could go too, to work as his assistant. I was surprised when he agreed. I thought he’d want someone with more experience, but he said she was keen and that was the most important thing. She was keen all right, and looking back, I don’t know how I missed the signs.

Okay, maybe I was caught up in trying to make the best of my new job, and make new friends too, so London would start to feel more like home. Then I could convince myself I had made the right choice when I decided to move. And maybe I had let myself and Jamie drift apart. But that doesn’t mean I can forgive him for sleeping with Olivia. Can I?

Oh God, I can’t stay here another minute. Jamie’s already in my head. And he’s not even home yet. I have to find a bed somewhere else, before I let him persuade me, yet again, to share his.

I lace up my runners, pull on a hoodie, and tiptoe down the stairs. The door to the kitchen is closed and their voices are muffled, but it’s clear Scott and Sarah are still arguing, and I feel so guilty that I’m the cause. I open the front door quietly and make my way down the street. I need a walk to clear my head and figure out what I’m going to do, where I’m going to live now that I’m soon to be homeless.

I can’t let Sarah and Scott fall out over me, and I can’t blame Scott for backing Jamie. He usually goes along with whatever Sarah wants and he’s been really kind to me since I moved in with them. But Jamie and Scott have been joined at the hip since they were born, and Scott will always take Jamie’s side.

I cross the road and pass the library, between Pat’s house and his plant shop on the corner and then take the turning onto the trail that leads to the woods and the lake. And to Oakwood House and Gardens if you keep going far enough. Green leafy trees, calm water, and lots of deep breathing, that’s all I need, I tell myself, as I trudge along the grassy bank, avoiding the squelchy mud that passes for road after the early-morning rain. It’s clearing now and as I look up to take in the hazy sunshine, I spot Flynn coming down the path from the pretty stone-faced cottage that belongs to his parents.

It’s set in the middle of a small garden filled with pink roses and bright purple asters and cordoned off from the fields that surround it by a wild hazel hedge. I think the field between the cottage and the shop belongs to Pat, but I’m not sure. I never asked Flynn about it as I know his dad and his mam’s brother, Pat, don’t like each other much. And I always got the impression that all this property, which used to belong to Flynn’s grandparents, is a sore subject, and Flynn does his best not to take sides.

‘Hey, I thought you’d be at the library,’ he calls out to me. ‘I was about to drop in and see how you’re doing.’ He doesn’t mention Jamie, or last night’s phone call, and I’m grateful. I need to put Jamie out of my mind and focus on my main concern right now, finding myself a bed for next week. One that I don’t have to share with my ex.

‘I only work every second Saturday,’ I say when I reach the cottage. ‘Gertrude’s on today, with our library assistant, Ella. They should be settling in for story time now, if you fancy it?’