Page 57 of Always Be My Pumpkin

Goodbye, Flynn.

Love, always,

Gracie, xxx

26

I drop my bottle of Rescue Remedy into my bag along with my notes on Thursday morning. I’ve read them so many times, they’re imprinted on my brain. It’s the morning of my interview and I’ve crammed every evening this week. I’ve gone over every library plan and policy and I could recite them in my sleep. I know I deserve this promotion, but my hands are still shaking when Sarah hands me a coffee as I climb into the passenger seat of her car.

‘Don’t take off the lid,’ she says as I reach to twist it up. ‘The last thing you need is a dirty brown stain down your front.’ She waits until I take a sip before she pulls out. ‘You look great by the way. You should wear suits more often. And heels.’

‘Can you see me doing story time wearing this?’ I laugh as I picture myself trying to touch my head, shoulders, knees, and toes. ‘Or up a stepladder hanging our latest crochet creation?’ I look down at my crisp white shirt and tailored navy skirt. I liked what I saw when I checked my reflection in the landing mirror this morning, but I can’t wait to peel this off later and kick back on the couch in a slouchy top and sloppy jeans.

Sarah’s parked outside when I walk down the steps of the council offices afterwards. I told her I’d get a taxi, but she insisted on waiting.

‘How did it go?’ she asks as she pushes open the passenger door.

‘Tough. I did my best. Not sure it was enough but I’ll find out on Monday.’ I sink back in my seat. Gemma grilled me in the hallway on my way out, and I know Gertrude and Ella will be itching to do the same as soon as I get back. But for now, I’d rather switch off.

‘Well, it’s done, and I’m sure you were great,’ Sarah says as if she’s reading my mind. ‘Close your eyes and catch your breath.’ She switches the radio on low, and I lean back in her comfy passenger seat and hum along to Taylor Swift in my head.

‘You want to share a bottle of wine later, watch one of your old movies?’ she asks as we pull up outside Hazel Cottage. ‘It’s your last night here, isn’t it?’

‘Yeah.’ I look out at the pretty stone cottage, and a pang of loneliness hits me in the chest. I’ve only been living here a few weeks but they’ve been the happiest weeks of my life since Flynn left all those years ago. Now they feel like a faraway dream floating away from me as I wake.

‘That’s okay,’ I say. ‘I need to finish packing and tidy the place up. I’ll probably have an early night when I’m done.’

Sarah narrows her eyes, tilts her head. ‘Okay, if you’re sure you don’t want company.’

‘I’ll be fine, thanks.’ I probably will watch a movie, but Sarah doesn’t need to spend her evening watching me work my way through a bumper box of tissues. She’s done more than enough, and anyway, that was always Flynn’s role.

‘Where’s Cal?’ I ask Mam in her kitchen on Friday evening, after I’ve spent five minutes hugging her. I’m not sure why I assumed she was bringing him home with her, but I did.

‘Scotland, of course.’ She smiles. ‘He needed to get home and check up on his business. And I need time with my daughter.’ She picks up the kettle and heads for the sink. ‘Right, first things first, I want a good strong Irish cup of tea. You sit down and tell me what you’ve been up to since you got back. How did your interview go?’

‘I think it went well, but I won’t know until Monday, so I’m going to put it out of my head for the weekend.’ I take the kettle from her hand and usher her back to her seat at the small kitchen table. ‘Now you sit down, you’re the one who’s been travelling all day, and you’re the one with the exciting stories to tell.’

I might have a few of my own, but I’m not ready to tell my mother about my shag Flynn plan or give her a blow-by-blow account of how that played out. ‘I’ll make the tea, and you can fill me in on your adventures and tell me more about that handsome Scotsman you picked up along the way.’

‘Seems pretty serious between you two,’ I say, when we’re settled on Mam’s living room couches. Cal has featured in every one of her stories and he’s in most of the photos we’ve scrolled through on her phone.

Her face lifts, eyes bright. ‘We had a lovely time together.’ She smiles shyly. ‘It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted someone’s company in that way.’ I notice she’s watching me closely, gauging my reaction.

‘I’m looking forward to meeting him.’ I take a steadying breath. I need to ask the next question but I don’t want her to take it the wrong way. ‘Are you sure you don’t mind me staying here?’ I shift against the cushions as I watch her carefully. ‘You might like the place to yourselves, you and Cal.’

Mam blinks at me. ‘He’s only coming for the weekend, Gracie.’ She smiles. ‘And he’s mostly coming to meet you. And for the festival. He can’t wait to dress up and sing a ghostly Scottish sea shanty for the Samhain session.’

It doesn’t feel like the right time to mention that I’m not planning to be at the Corner Bar, that I’ll be hanging out with the teenagers, watching Twilight instead.

‘I thought he’d be here for longer,’ I say. Part of me hopes Cal will fall for Oakwood the same way he seems to have fallen for Mam. ‘But I’m sure the Scottish Highlands are beautiful too. Are you planning to visit soon?’

‘After Christmas.’ She blinks again. ‘I thought I’d told you that.’

‘I thought you’d want to go sooner.’

‘No.’ Mam stretches on the couch. ‘I’ve missed this. Oakwood, my little house, you.’

‘I’ve missed you too.’ I’ll miss her more if she moves to Scotland, but I want her to be happy, and it will be easier for her to move on if she sees I’m moving on too.