Page 61 of Book Club Confidential

“Did you know Devin finished his degree?” Dad asked, pride oozing from his words.

“Accounting,” Devin said. “They let me take my last semester online, and I tested out of some of the other classes I struggled with the first time.”

She forked salad into her mouth, grateful for an excuse not to speak.

Devin was staying.

She really did need her therapist now. This was not a good time for more trauma. She already worried about her mom daily. That never ended. She worried about her dad living alone, now his weight loss, heartburn, and age. Add a potential heartbreak for everyone if Devin relapsed or took off again, and it was just too many things for her to handle all at once.

She imagined setting down her fork and puffing into a paper bag.

“I got a job with O’Malley’s nursery through Christmas,” Devin said. “I’m a part-time assistant to their accountant to help them get caught up on their tax prep. The pay is fair, and I can work from home. Plus it’ll help me get experience and references for my résumé while I look for a full-time position.”

“Sounds good,” Tessa said. She hoped her smile wouldn’t betray her fears and concerns. Two things can be true at once, she reminded herself. Devin can have a pattern of destructive behaviors and be making big permanent changes for the better.

I can be so happy I want to scream it to the neighbors and so afraid I want to go home and cry.

“You know, Tess,” Dad said. He lifted his glass, thoughtfully. “You have a good relationship with a lot of businesses in town. Maybe you can help your little brother find a full-time job, something that will last beyond the holidays.”

Tessa’s mouth opened then shut. Her heart pounded, and she set her fork down before she dropped it. “Dad—”

“Now, hear me out,” he said. “Folks around here know and trust you. That’s important in communities like ours, and Devin’s been away a long time. He could use the help getting reacquainted with this place and his sister.”

The few bites she’d taken soured in her gut. Putting her reputation on the line for someone with a long history of blowing everything up around him was too much to ask. Her dad must’ve known that. But he’d asked anyway. And he’d put her on the spot in front of Devin.

Her chest and cheeks heated with frustration. Why were Devin’s needs always paramount to her comfort? Why didn’t their dad think about what he was asking and understand it was too much? Why didn’t he see she wanted to cry, flee, or crawl under the table and scream?

Why didn’t he see her?

Devin sipped his water, looking embarrassed and a little unsure. “Enough about me. I’d love to hear what’s new with you,” he said, directing the question to Tessa. “How’s life as a big ad exec?” He smiled, and she noted his clear eyes and skin. He certainly looked the part of someone getting back to health. She wanted so badly to believe him.

Her mother had looked the same a dozen times in Tessa’s life. But she’d only gotten Tessa’s hopes up to catastrophically disappoint her again and again.

“Still working at that place downtown?” he asked, brows raised, when she didn’t respond.

“Yeah,” she said. “I am.”

“Still like it?”

She nodded. “A lot.”

Her dad sat taller. “She’s up for a big promotion,” he said. “When is the announcement? There’s going to be a party and everything. At the museum, right?” Her dad frowned, perhaps reading the grimace on her face.

“It was last week.”

“I’m sorry, hon.” Her dad looked ashamed for no good reason. She could’ve called him. She needed to make more of an effort. Especially if Devin would be sticking around. “I’ve been taking on so much overtime so I could have a few days off when Devin arrived.”

“It’s fine,” she said. “Really. I didn’t bring it up again, because I didn’t get the promotion.” Her stomach turned as she spoke the words, embarrassed and angry all over again.

“What?” Her dad reached for her hand and gave her fingers a firm squeeze. “That’s ridiculous. After all you do for them? After the years you’ve been there working eighty-hour weeks?”

“It’s fine,” she repeated. Heat flared over her face, and she pulled her hand away. She lifted her napkin to her mouth, wiping invisible sauce from her lips to soften her overreaction.

“I am truly sorry,” Dad said. The sincerity in his voice threatened to break her open, because she knew the news hurt him as much as it had hurt her. When his children hurt, he hurt. Maybe worse.

Devin cleared his throat, pulling their attention across the table. “Catch me up on things. How’s everything else? Still running with those two crazy girls, the little mean one and the fancy blond? Are you dating anyone? Been to any good shows or concerts in the city lately?”

Tessa took a moment to process the rapid-fire interrogation. Clearly her brother was as eager to change the subject as she was. For that, she could thank him. “Hallie and Kate,” Tessa said. She wanted to tell him Hallie wasn’t mean and Kate wasn’t fancy, but he’d nailed their exterior personas fairly. “We went to see the Lumineers in concert at the stadium last month. It was incredible.”