Page 73 of Head Over Skis

Neither of us say anything after that. I hover in the hallway, my things bundled up in my arms. When his eyes scan over me, I try my best not to break.

‘This is really what you want?’

Of course it’s not, I say to myself.

For Rory, wanting something is enough of a reason to go after it. But I know that wanting something doesn’t mean it’s going to work out, and that’s not a risk I think I can take.

‘I’ll see you in class.’ I leave his question unanswered, knowing I can’t bring myself to lie to him. Not about this. This time when I head towards the lift he doesn’t call out after me. Only when the doors finally open do I hear him mutter something behind me.

‘What was that?’ I ask, stepping into the lift.

I turn and look at him despite my better judgement. His head hangs, but his eyes are dark as they stare back at me.

‘I said, I can’t believe you made me think you cared for me the way I do for you. But I guess I was wrong.’

You’re not wrong. The words sit on the tip of my tongue, but before I can say anything in response, the doors slide shut and I’m travelling down, further and further away from him. I’m barely able to hold myself together during the journey from the penthouse to the bottom floor. As soon as the elevator doors peel open, I bolt out of there.

I run until I reach the top of the chairlift where I know Tilly will soon appear, oblivious to the turn my morning has taken. When she arrives, her smile drops as she sees me, and I finally give in and let myself cry.

23

If I thought my day couldn’t get any worse, by the afternoon I’ve been proved wrong.

My skiing’s been shaky at best, and dangerous for everyone else around me at its worst. Tilly and Meghan haven’t left my side, one of them going in front and the other behind on every run like my own loyal bodyguards.

Every time we’ve taken a break, they’ve talked non-stop, doing everything they can think of to keep my mind far away from the man who won’t stop glaring at me. That is, until I try to meet his stare, and he looks away. Way to treat me like any other student.

Not that I can blame him, I haven’t said a word to him since class started either, counting down the minutes until I can escape back to my own bed.

But cocooning myself in its covers after class is going to have to wait a little longer, because once I hang up my skis, I’m finally going to meet with Adam. When I texted him yesterday to arrange this long-awaited chat, I thought it would be to make sure everything was settled in light of what’s been happening with Rory. Only now, he’s the last thing I want to be talking about.

Regardless of Rory, my decision to end things for good with Adam remains the same. Now I just want my life to go back to being as normal as it can be. For this holiday to fade into a bad dream and to draw a blank slate. The idea of that terrifies me, but I know it’s what I need to do.

One positive to come out of this situation is that I’ve managed to wiggle more details out of Tilly about her and David, now that they aren’t hiding the fact they’ve slept together from everyone.

‘He made me coffee this morning.’

‘Okay, but doesn’t he always end up making extra coffee in the morning?’ I ask, because I’m normally the one who ends up stealing his breakfast leftovers.

‘Yes, but he doesn’t normally bring it to me in bed with a latte art flower and a plate of my favourite biscuits.’

My mouth drops. ‘He didn’t.’

Meghan nods enthusiastically next to me. ‘Oh yes, he did. What’s even better is I was in the kitchen and watched him getting Lucas to try and teach him. He made three coffees, but he kept messing up the flower. Only by the fourth attempt did he take it in for her.’

I blink and shake my head, trying to compute David doing something sweet like that. I didn’t think he had a chivalrous bone in his body based on how he’s acted around people he’s dated in the past. This is huge.

‘And it didn’t make you want to throw up and tell him he could shove those digestives up his own ass?’ I ask, using a direct quote I’ve heard Tilly shoot him multiple times.

‘No, I smiled and said thank you, and not even sarcastically. I think my personality is broken.’

Meghan and I both laugh, and for a second I do forget about my own boy issues.

I’m relieved when we make it down the final run, a blue I’ve done perfectly many times already over the last week but unintentionally went off-piste on today and ended up stuck in a mound of snow that came up to my thighs.

The group lingers after Rory rounds off the class, and I can feel him behind me talking with Penny about her afternoon plans, but I stay focused on my friends. We chat idly until the rest of our group walks towards us, Adam at the front. When they reach us, Lucas pulls Meghan into a hug, while David offers to get Tilly a hot chocolate and I get to witness the newfound civility between them with my own eyes.

‘You ready to go?’ I hear Adam’s voice as he comes up to my side, and the rest of the group pairs off.