Page 103 of Ruled By Rivalry

My surroundings were spinning. It was hard to grasp what she was saying. That my mother wasn’t this cold, heartless woman who’d roll in her grave if she knew that . . . I might have caught feelings for Elliot. That she’d been in the same situation more than just once, and that she’d cried the same way I had.

“All she ever wanted was to protect you. To make sure you know that you can always rely on yourself and that you should prioritize yourself. Maybe she just forgot to mention that it’s okay to let others take over every once in a while, though. You can’t do it all, Maeve. You’re only one person, darling.”

In sync with a single tear, that boulder of guilt that had permanently lodged itself into my chest fell, too. The relief I felt was unmatched.

I was only one person, and maybe Elliot could take over every once in a while.

Chapter 40

Under the shower, Mimi’s words still flooded my mind. My neurons were firing at lightning speed, trying to process the fact that my mother had had boyfriends, and that she wouldn’t hate me for the way I felt about Elliot. That I felt a certain way about Elliot in the first place. I’d been trying to push that last fact to the very farthest corner.

But it was okay to trust a guy and not always expect the worst.

As long as I still prioritized myself, did the best I could, worked hard and diligently . . .

A knock on the bathroom door threw me out of that spiral, and I almost groaned in frustration until I remembered who was knocking. Not much beyond my own ego was keeping him away from me now.

My head poked out from behind the curtain, almost hitting my head on the medicine cabinet beside it. “What?”

Over the water, through the door, I barely understood when he yelled, “How much longer are you going to be?”

Until I know what to do with you. “A while.”

He groaned, I think. “I started brushing my teeth before you got in. I really need to spit out my toothpaste.” And now his mumbling made sense too, if he had a mouth full of foaming toothpaste.

I shook my head even if he couldn’t see. “We have a sink in the kitchen, genius.”

“Full of dishes.” He added, “Genius.”

“Jesus. Just come in, then.”

No response. Not until, “What?”

“What?” I asked back, tone airy. “There’s a curtain, in case you forgot.”

The challenge in my voice was what did it, in the end. My head dipped back under the water, but my stomach hollowed out when he opened the door. It must’ve been the gust of fresh air infiltrating the entirely too small bathroom that sent goose bumps down my spine. Even when I stood below water that was almost at boiling temperature.

My back was turned, but I knew what he was doing, in tune with every single one of his movements. Spitting out that toothpaste. Rinsing his mouth. When he hesitated, I knew he was looking in the mirror even though he probably told himself not to. But he couldn’t help himself and, probably very slowly, turned around. Leaned against the sink.

“That how long it usually takes you?” I asked, pretending to be oblivious. Maybe because I liked his eyes on me, maybe because I was a danger to myself and others. Playing with my sanity—and his. “To spit and gargle?”

If there was a reply, I couldn’t hear it over the water. “At the very least, close the door if you’re going to be in here any longer.” It was getting cold.

The door shut. I couldn’t help the smile when I glanced across my shoulder and saw his outline still there. Leaning against the door, arms crossed.

“I don’t know why I’m still here,” he admitted, voice low, rough, strained.

Probably for the same reason I can’t stop thinking about you. “You can’t possibly miss me that much already. I was only gone an hour, Elliot.”

“Apparently, I’m clingy.”

Something between my thighs slicked. And it took every ounce of willpower not to let my fingers feel what he did to me, just standing there, watching me. Behind a curtain he could barely see my outline through, glued into place like it was the most enchanting show he’d seen in his life.

“Apparently,” I mirrored, and the way I sounded surprised me too. Needy, desperate.

I imagined he swallowed thickly before he said, “You should tell me to go.”

“Why would I do that?”