Page 64 of Catching Feelings

I don’t want a word of it. She proved to me over and over that she didn’t believe me when everything went down, no matter how many times I tried to explain to her. It’s impossible to regain any trust after all that.

“Thanks, Kate.” I don’t even care how flat my tone is. I’m only thinking about today’s fight and how Kate scarred me so badly, I couldn’t be honest with Sabrina until it was too late. How I let the way Kate disappointed me poison the possibility of something different. Something better. Someone who took the time to pry beneath my self-protective shell this year, who went out of her way to put me at ease, who was interested in me as a person, not just a football player.

Maybe that was the real self-fulfilling prophecy.

Kate’s still talking, but I’m not listening. Then my phone beeps, and I lift it away from my ear to look at the screen.

My whole heart lifts in hope when I see Sabrina’s name there, glowing like possibility itself.

28. SABRINA

The car is well and truly dead.

I’m shuffling my feet, hands tucked in my armpits, trying to stay warm and alive off to the side of the road.

Waiting for Tyler just gives me plenty of time to wonder if I’ve made a huge mistake in calling him for help. His voice was so weird on the phone—clipped and awkward, nothing like our usual conversations. Did he just say yes because he’s a good guy and couldn’t leave me stranded by the side of the road?

My palms go sweaty, and I wipe them against my jeans. How am I ever going to wade through all the minefields separating us after that fight? How do I apologize for turning away from him? There’s far too much to sort out—I need to make a list of action items and pros and cons—

And then an approaching pair of headlights breaks me out of my daze as a shining silver car pulls over behind mine. Ryan’s driving while Tyler rides in the passenger seat, and as their doors open, a snippet of an argument spills out.

“I’ll call the tow truck—”

“No, I got it, don’t make me—”

“I’m calling it,” Tyler says. And then he’s stomping along the shoulder toward me, phone pressed to his ear but eyes fixed on me. The heat there is enough to warm me from the inside out.

When he gets close enough, I can hear the hold music playing from his phone. The quiet hitch in his breathing as he stops himself a mere foot away.

“You okay?” His voice is still formal, but at least in person, I can see all the tells he was able to hide on the phone. The concerned furrow between his brows. The way he tilts toward me, eyes scanning over my body for signs of damage. The deepening frown when he sees me shivering.

My mouth is dry, but I make myself tilt my head up with the sunny smile everyone expects. “Totally fine.”

His face darkens. “Don’t do that. Not with me.”

Before I know what he’s doing, he’s reaching into the back seat of my car and tossing something soft and warm at me.

His letter jacket.

I look up, eyes wide, but he’s already striding away. “No reason not to wear it,” he calls over his shoulder. “No use in freezing to death.”

My heartbeat stutters. I can’t tell if this means something, or if it’s just Tyler doing his usual acts-of-service thing, and I’m more and more confused by the minute.

And when I turn, I’m face-to-face with Ryan.

His hands are buried in the pockets of his jeans, and he looks up at me sheepishly through those enviably thick, blond waves. “Hey,” he says. “Um. That truck’s gonna be a little while. Do you… have a minute?”

I’ve had just about enough of dense boys asking if we can talk. But: “Sure,” I say with a shrug. There’s not exactly anywhere to storm off to, or anyone to rescue me here at the side of the road.

“So after… the other night.” We both wince. If he’s picturing me wrapped around Tyler, pressed against his front door, he wants to die right now—but not half as much as I do. “After you left, Tyler and I… talked.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Talked?”

“Well.” He grimaces. “Shouted, mostly. But there were still words involved. It wasn’t just caveman grunting or whatever.”

I wave an impatient hand through the night air. Surrounded by exhaust fumes and spotlit by his car’s headlights was not the setting I imagined for this conversation. “Go on, Ryan.”

He huffs. “I’m getting there! Anyway, he told me you and I needed to talk. Really talk. And he’s right. I was upset because you and Tyler weren’t up-front with me, but I wasn’t totally up-front with you either.” He takes a deep breath. “I have a confession to make.”