Page 41 of Catching Feelings

At the end of the fundraiser, I wave goodbye to everyone as I tally up our grand total.

Only Tyler lingers.

Ryan’s gone. I shouldn’t hope Tyler and I will carpool home. Like we used to.

How did a brand-new routine start to mean so much to me?

But when I straighten up, grinning at the amount of money a bunch of sudsy athletes managed to raise, Tyler’s there watching me hopefully.

“Hey. Any chance you’re heading in my direction?”

My cheeks catch, warming. I nod despite myself, and we head to my car in silence.

He climbs in like it’s his own, perfectly at home with the seat belt that catches and the seat that doesn’t quite scoot back the way it should. “Want me to get out and do a touchdown dance to make sure she starts?” he asks with a crooked smile.

I’m so overwhelmed by his scent in my car—better than any air freshener—that I can’t even laugh. I just send gratitude to the automobile gods when the ignition catches without a hitch and check my blind spot three times before pulling out onto the road.

When I merge into traffic without a word, Tyler turns to me, gaze serious. “Sabrina, can we talk? Please. This is too weird.”

“I don’t know what you mean—talk about what? I’m not weird, you’re weird—” I’m babbling nonsense, desperately pretending there’s nothing to talk about. As I’m draped in his letter jacket, still feeling the press of his lips on mine from days and days ago.

Tyler levels a glance at me, not fooled for a minute. “I miss you. Just having you around as a friend, okay? I promise I won’t kiss you again if it bothered you, if you don’t want me to—”

“I never said that.”

The air in the car turns electric. I keep my eyes focused on the road ahead, rolling through the Hamilton Lakes late-afternoon streets, down the hill that’s just turning golden with the earliest fall leaves. When I sneak a glance at Tyler, his face is dappled by the pattern the sun makes through the foliage.

My thoughts are spinning, but the sight of him oddly grounds me.

As much as I get in my own head, when I’m with him I feel strangely reassured. At peace.

Like maybe I can be more honest with him than I am with most people. Maybe not talking about things isn’t always the best method, actually. And maybe with someone like Tyler—someone new, where the stakes are lower—it might be safer to try something different.

“I heard a weird rumor about why you transferred,” I blurt. “Kara said you got kicked out for bad behavior?”

His expression clouds over, shifting into an emotion I’ve never seen on him before. Resentful? Ashamed? Regretful? “I wasn’t kicked out of school, just to set the record straight. There were a lot of complicated reasons things weren’t working out with the team there, so I transferred. But I swear to you, I didn’t do anything wrong.”

He turns in his seat to face me directly. I’m pulling into Ryan’s neighborhood, unconsciously slowing the car so we have time for this conversation. I don’t want to tell Tyler goodbye without getting some more answers.

I hold my breath as he continues.

“Last year was really shitty for me, Sabrina.” His voice is steady and low. Serious. “But I’ve been thinking maybe it all worked out how it was supposed to, because now I’m here. And I’m really enjoying every moment I’m spending with you. If this is all too weird, though, I get it—we can cool off, just be friends—”

He’s withdrawing, and I reach out instinctively to keep him here with me. As I park in front of Ryan’s house, I turn to him and rest a hand on top of his. “It’s not,” I blurt. His eyes lock back on mine. “If you say I shouldn’t worry, I won’t. I trust you.”

Tyler’s whole face softens into a smile, and it’s like the sun coming out after a storm. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

I nod. He wouldn’t. He’d just hang up my posters, and offer to bring me chicken noodle soup, and jump my car, and watch Gilmore Girls for me—even season one.

And that’s when all the barricades I’ve built collapse entirely, and I lean in to kiss him.

His lips start off slack against mine. Like he couldn’t really believe this conversation would end in a kiss. But when I press against him a little more firmly, he melts into me.

We’re in front of Ryan’s house, and I’m breaking all my rules for this guy—that if we get caught, it could ruin everything for me this year—but my nerves aren’t enough to stop me. After a few seconds of kissing Tyler, I wouldn’t notice if Ryan himself walked up to rap on the window.

Because a deeper part of me has never felt so sure what I’m doing is right.

When Tyler pulls back, there’s fresh color in his cheeks and a sparkle in his eyes. He doesn’t look haunted anymore. He looks hopeful. “See you Monday?”