Page 19 of Catching Feelings

I’m trying. But this homecoming situation is testing the one place that still feels anywhere close to carefree.

On the one hand, I don’t owe Ryan anything. I like being his friend and never wanted anything more. It’s none of his business who I go to homecoming with—even if it’s his cousin.

The reminder of pulling up to his house yesterday hits me like a fresh punch to the gut, and I wince all over again. I can’t do that to Ryan. The idea of hurting his feelings and making him—and by extension, half the Hamilton Lakes athletic department—mad at me turns my stomach. I do not need that kind of trouble this year. I can’t throw off the delicate balance of the Hamilton Lakes social sphere, the one place that still feels like home.

I should have told Tyler things with Ryan were weird as soon as we pulled up to the Thompsons’, but the prospect of that awkward conversation put me straight into fight-or-flight mode. I screeched away from the curb fast enough to break the sound barrier. I don’t have any reason to think Tyler would overreact—we’re just friends, and he’s been cool so far—but I can’t help the sour anxiety that rises in my throat at even the vague possibility of a confrontation. I’ve had enough of those for a lifetime.

The quiet morning streets of Hamilton Lakes roll past my window, and all I want is to enjoy them in the months to come—the Halloween dog parade, and long nights closing down the diner with my friends, and shopping the holiday craft fair to look for gifts for my parents. Soaking in every last tradition and detail that I’m about to say goodbye to.

The last thing I want is drama, and the whole reason I asked Tyler in the first place was to shield us both from it. But going to homecoming with Ryan’s cousin is surely going to cause its fair share of rumors, even if I tell him we’re just going as friends.

Because will he even believe that? And if he doesn’t, is it worth the risk?

I shake my head decisively. Definitely not.

Time to focus on the problems I have control over. So, I power walk to the athletics office and rap on the doorframe. “Good morning, Mr. Lewis!”

The Spirit Committee adviser takes one look at my face and grabs his thermos of coffee. Once he’s taken a giant swig, he says, “What can I do for you, Sabrina?”

That man should really try matcha. I swipe open my phone and straighten up, once again projecting the Sabrina who has it all together. “I wanted to check in about the homecoming location. You got the email about the gym?”

He nods. “I was going to ask you to swing by sometime this week—”

“And here I am! So, no need!” I beam. “I started a list of possible alternate locations last night and wanted to run them past you. See if you had any other ideas. We should take advantage of this to really do something extraordinary—have the dance in a location that’s never been seen before! I’m thinking libraries, and concert halls, and—”

“Sabrina.” Mr. Lewis holds up a hand. “All of those are great ideas. But I need you to understand how much this is going to raise the budget this year. Securing a venue is going to cost a lot more money than usual. Can you really bite that much off?”

“Don’t worry, already on my radar! No problem!” Though I have to admit, I didn’t get far enough in this morning’s freak-out to actually solve the problem. An off-campus venue means a lot of spirit bracelets.

He surveys me carefully. “If you’re sure. Keep me posted on your progress, okay? And I’ll ask around for possible sponsors.”

I nod. “Thank you! Just wait—it’s going to be great!”

As soon as I retreat, though, I’m digging in my bag for my planner. He’s right: This is going to take even more work than I thought. Tyler’s ideas were really good—but can we pull them off?

“Sabrina!” Naomi bounds over, phone in hand. “I was hoping to catch you!”

I give her a quick hug, shoving my own thoughts to the side. “What’s up? Everything okay with the pep rally?”

“Oh, sure, sure.” She holds up her phone, and I glimpse a text from Priya. Not on the group chat. I frown. “Sooo, Priya said she saw you giving Tyler a ride home yesterday? True or false?”

I curse the Hamilton Lakes gossip mill. “True. But just because he was stranded, and we ran into each other, and he was helping with my posters—” I’m babbling, overexplaining. I snap my mouth shut and fix a breezy smile on my face. “He’s my new-student buddy. It wasn’t a big thing.”

I need to hear it as much as her. I am not going to get stupid because of some instinctive hormonal reaction!

Naomi’s face falls in disappointment. “Oh. Okay. Well, just had to check! It would be supercute if there was something going on, you know? He’s hot, and you deserve to have fun! Just promise you’ll tell me before I have to find out from someone’s IG story, okay?”

I roll my eyes, ignoring the part of my lizard brain that likes the idea of hot and fun. “If that nothing ever happens, you’ll be the first to know.”

Naomi pouts, but I wave goodbye and weave through the crowd of students, making my way toward Ms. Moore’s first-period calc class with single-minded focus.

Tyler seems surprised to see me, but there are definite perks to my new buddy system—like knowing his entire schedule.

“Hey.” His eyes widen as his gaze flickers up and down my body. I’m glad I had the presence of mind to wear my unwrinkled sundress despite the morning meltdown. I will myself not to blush under his gaze, keeping my posture casual for the benefit of the classmates casting us curious glances as they flow past. “What’re you doing here? You ran off pretty fast yesterday.”

I take a deep breath. Rip off the Band-Aid, Sabrina. “Yeah. That’s what I wanted to talk about. I was thinking maybe we shouldn’t go to homecoming together after all.”

His face falls, and my pulse stutters. Is he actually… disappointed?