Page 87 of Royal Desire

She leans in and kisses me. This time softer, less rushed. “I need you, Payne.”

“I can’t, baby. I’ll feel like the biggest selfish asshole on earth. And it’s bad enough I was an ass when you first got back.”

Her fingers press into my skin to the point that I feel her desperation. It matches my own. “Don’t you understand? I want you. We can move on and erase the past. Give me new memories, Payne. I want to wake up in the morning and know that whatever happened in the past will never happen again. Your father is rotting away in prison. He’ll never touch us or anyone else.”

I brush a hand through her hair. “You’re engrained in my soul. The missing part of my heart. I never stopped loving you.”

She pushes up to her toes and kisses the underside of my jaw. “I’ve always been yours. If anything, my love only rooted deeper for you over the years.”

I search her eyes for a hint that this isn’t totally and utterly the right thing to do.

I see nothing but love and desire.

The same things coursing through me.

“You’re sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure.” Then she bites her lip. “There’s only one problem.”

“What? I’m a problem solver by nature. Tell me what’s wrong. Hell, I plan to solve all your problems for the rest of your life. No more problems for you.”

Her lip slips from her teeth and forms into a small smile. “I love you.”

“That’s not a problem.”

“No, that’s not it. I’m not on birth control. There’s been no need for years. So that’s on you tonight.”

I want to pound my chest and scream from the rooftops that she’s had no need for it for years, until I have to break the equally bad news. “I have no condoms.”

She frowns. “You don’t? I was counting on you to be prepared.”

“Like you.” I pause and hike a brow. “There’s been no need.”

Her smile returns.

“You like that. I liked it too.”

She looks as disappointed as I feel. “We can wait.”

“Or...” My hold on her tightens and the words fall from my lips before I can take them back. “We could say fuck it.”

Her blue eyes saucer. “Excuse me?”

I shrug. “I’ll never love anyone but you. No one will ever measure up. We have twelve years to make up for. Why would we wait?”

“Right now? In the middle of everything, you want to say fuck it?”

I pull her to me, and we’re fused from her tits to her thighs. I drop my hand to her ass. “Who else am I going to say fuck it with for the rest of my life? You’re here and a reality. I never thought that would happen. I want to say fuck it more than I have ever wanted anything. The rest will catch up.”

A small smile pulls at her lips. “You’re crazy.”

“Only when it comes to you. No—I’m crazy when it comes to us. I want this—hell, I need it, and I think you do too. I’m ready to heal and move forward.”

Tears well in her eyes again, but this time they’re nothing but happy when she nods. “Fuck it.”

My hold on her tightens, and my tone is guttural. “I will never let you go. For the rest of time, you’re mine.”

Ruby