Page 75 of Give Me Peace

“You called me Saylor.” He never uses my actual name.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his lips brushing over mine. “I’ll never do it again.” I sigh, feeling foolish that we’re bickering about something so trivial, especially when he just had his tongue in my mouth.

“You really want this?” he asks. I nod, putting myself out there, yet again. “If we do this, does that mean it’s just you and me?” I still, shame washing over me as I realize what he’s asking. Even more so that I can’t give him the answer he wants. He groans, but it’s the miserable kind. “That was unfair. Can’t blame me for trying, though.” Kash winks, easing some of my panic. “I’m not asking you to choose. Just don’t leave me behind, okay?”

“Never,” I promise.

“I want this, sweetness. So fucking bad. But I don’t want to hurt you.” Kash swallows, his face pinched with worry. I understand that first times aren’t supposed to be mind-blowing. I have no doubt pain will be involved. But it didn’t hurt when Havok had his fingers inside me, so I’m hoping it’ll be bearable, at least.

“You’d never hurt me,” I tell him honestly. “No matter what, I’ll enjoy it because it’s you, Kash.” I run my thumb between his eyebrows, smoothing out his bunched expression.

“Okay,” Kash agrees. “As long as you’re sure.”

“Positive.” I grin.

“You hear that, big fella? Time to soldier up!” Kash drops his gaze, speaking directly to his crotch. I laugh, the last of my worry fading away. This is why being with him was an easy choice. Kash pops the clasp of my bra with expert precision, tossing it over his shoulder in the next breath. It happens so fast I don’t even have time to feel shy. He swears, eating up the sight of my bare breasts. As he teases one nipple with his tongue, his fingers tug at the other. I grab his hair, holding him against me, just in case he gets any bright ideas about stopping.

Kash chuckles, the vibration going straight to my sex. “You like that?” I grunt in response, too focused on the wet feel of his mouth. “Spread your legs, babe.” I do, eager for more and struggling to not scream for him to hurry the hell up already. Kash leans back, making me hiss at the loss. He smirks, freeing me of my shorts and underwear all at once. I’m completely naked, not an inch of me hidden from his penetrating gaze.

“Goddamn, sweetness.” Kash licks his lips.

“Your turn.” I lift my chin and wait for him to strip. Kash slips his pants and briefs off so fast, I can’t help but laugh at his eagerness. But then my eyes take him in, from head to toe, and I feel just as awe struck. He grips himself, stroking his length as he watches my reaction to him.

“Wow,” I croak, enthralled with the way he’s touching himself, completely unashamed of his nudity.

“Is that a good wow or a bad wow?” Kash asks, his head tilted to the side slightly.

“Good. Definitely good,” I respond, but my attention is more on him and what he’s doing. Kash snorts, climbing back over me with a pleased smile.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” The way he stares at me takes my breath away. His fingers stroke between my thighs, making my eyes close, but I pry them back open, scared to get too carried away and forget where I am and who I’m with. I refuse to let Liam ruin this. Kash is the only person I want to see right now, so I keep my focus on him. “So wet. Because of me.” I nod, not that he was asking. His finger slides in easily, quickly followed by second.

“You with me, sweetness?” Kash glances up, checking that I’m okay. I grind against his hand in response. He curses and adds another. I moan, fisting my blanket beneath me as he picks up the pace. His thumb brushes my clit and I lose it, my orgasm hitting so hard and fast all I can do I gasp for breath and ride it out. Kash stares at me in wonder, but I’m the one who should be amazed at the moment.

“Shit,” he swears.

“What’s wrong?” I lay there like a limp noodle, trying to gather the energy to sit up.

“No condom,” Kash answers. I look at him, biting my lip as I think about the repercussions of what I’m about to suggest.

“Neither of us has been with anyone, and I had tests ran at the hospital.” Kash snaps his head up.

“You’re not on birth control, babe.” His words say one thing, but the way he’s looking at me screams he’d like nothing more than to have nothing between us. “I won’t risk you like that.” I deflate, hating to end our night like this, but he’s right. It’d be stupid to go any further without protection.

“I’m going to Hell for this,” Kash snarks, sliding off the bed. My door opens a second later, causing our fort to dip. I blink at the swaying fabric, wondering if he just left me here—naked—and bailed. My door clicks shut a second later, and then Kash is back. He’s waving a condom, a guilty smile on his face.

“Where’d that come from?” I ask, curious as to its sudden appearance when he made it seem like he didn’t have any.

“Kade’s nightstand.” He winces, rubbing at the back of his neck. My eyes widen. “I swear, he doesn’t go out and hook up with random women. Not all the time. They’re random, I mean, but seldom. I’m gonna shut the fuck up now.” I press my lips together, fighting back the laugh begging to be released. So, that’s why he looks so uncomfortable. Not because he stole the condom, but because he doesn’t want me to think Havok’s a manwhore. It’s sweet, in a weird way.

“I’m not worried about what Havok did before me. If there’s one thing I’m certain of it’s his feelings for me,” I tell him softly, holding my hand out. Kash nods and gives me the condom. As he situates himself in front of me, I tear the wrapper open.

“Over the tip, sweetness. Then roll it down.” Kash guides my hand, helping me cover his cock. His breath stutters as I work it on.

“You, okay?” I grin, enjoying the strong response my touch elicits.

“Yep. Just trying not to embarrass myself.” I snort, easing back once he’s fully covered. “If at any point I need to stop, you have to tell me.” I nod, knowing I won’t but wanting to put his mind at ease. He slides himself over me, spreading my wetness on the condom. Every time he nudges my clit it makes me see stars. After a few strokes, he presses against my entrance. I stiffen automatically, wrapping my hands around Kash’s forearms to help keep me grounded.

“Relax. We’ll take this as slow as we need to.” I exhale, matching my breathing with his as he kisses me sweetly. He pushes in a little more, but there’s no pain. More pressure than anything. He’s taking ‘slow’ to the extreme and it makes my impatience bubble over.