Page 61 of Give Me Peace

“Apology accepted. But…” I stare at those honey-colored orbs, searching for any hint of a lie as I ask the question I really need the answer to. “Is there anything else I need to know about?” His head tilts to the side, in confusion or contemplation, I’m not sure.

“Loch said we couldn’t touch you unless you touched us first,” Kash pipes in, holding up a piece of bacon for me to take a bite of. “We didn’t listen, though,” he whisper-yells, making me sputter out a laugh.

“Specifically, I said we shouldn’t initiate touch until you were okay with it. As in a hug or pat on the back,” Lochlan deadpans, looking uncomfortable as he tries to clarify Kash’s statement. I bite my lip when my mind wanders to how ‘friendly’ Kash and I have gotten. As if he’s thinking the same thing, his hand slides over my thigh and squeezes. “But no, there isn’t anything else you aren’t up to speed on.”

“Okay,” I say with a nod, accepting another forkful of food from Kash. “I just want to be a part of the decision-making process, especially when it’s me who’ll be most affected by the outcome. I know you guys were scared of how I’d respond, but I need you to have a little more faith in me than that. So, with that being said, what do you know so far?” I aim the question at Lochlan, knowing he likes to lead the conversation when relaying information.

“Honestly, not a whole lot.” He pushes his glasses up his nose, a nervous tick of his I find adorable. “From the timeline Denvers and I have put together, it seems Liam fled the Friday before you were found, which adds up, based on when he was last seen in Pike’s Bay. It would have taken him a couple of days to make it to North Dakota, and based on the decomposition of the first body, it’s safe to say he got right to work.”

I flinch, thinking of the picture I saw and the list of injuries she sustained. “Anna Beth. Her name was Anna Beth.” I give Lochlan a pointed look. I know they have to maintain a certain level of detachment in these situations, but this is personal for me. I refuse to let those women be forgotten.

“Anna Beth.” He nods apologetically. “Liam likely sent the postcard right after placing her at the coordinates and then hit the road. The second one from Iowa was received June 28th. Kenzie’s body was recovered in the same state, leading us to believe he followed a similar timeline. As of right now, we haven’t received anything else, but if and when we do, you’ll be the first to know.” Lochlan promises, and maybe it’s foolish, but I believe him.

“Thank you,” I tell him, though it doesn’t sufficiently convey how important is to me to be included. I gather my and Kash’s plate and take them to the sink to rinse. Roan joins me, placing them in the dishwasher as I hand them over. The others continue eating while him and I work silently, cleaning up the mess from Kash cooking. I swear he gets more food on the counters than he does anywhere else. As soon as I get everything wiped down, I turn to find Roan right behind me. It startles me, causing me to back into the island. He smirks, shocking me silent when he grabs me by the waist and sits me on top of it. He braces his arms beside me and leans down, erasing some of our height difference.

“I don’t give a shit that Loch already gave you some group apology; I want you to hear it from me. I’m sorry, Little Fighter. No more secrets, I swear.” Roan’s green eyes shine bright with guilt, bouncing back and forth between my blue ones as he waits for my response. His hair is tied up today, much like my own, but I wish I could run my fingers through it. Maybe he’ll even let me braid it one day. I grip the edge of the counter to keep from reaching out, a sly smile working its way across my face.

“We’re good, Roan.”

“Yeah?” He leans in closer, resting his head on my shoulder. He turns just enough so his face is aimed at my neck. He inhales deeply, making me shiver. “I intend for us to be great, Saylor.” He backs away, smiling as he goes. I shake my head, attempting to clear the long list of questions hammering at my brain.

Hopping down, I open the fridge and pull out the milk, having to push aside a few bottles of beer to get to it. Next, I get the Hershey’s syrup from the pantry and a glass from the cabinet. Mom always made me chocolate milk when I was feeling out of sorts. I noticed the guys had everything she’d use a few days ago and I’ve been craving some ever since.

Once I’ve mixed it and put everything back, I lean against the island, my gaze falling to the two lists tacked to the fridge. I smile at the one scribbled with my likes and dislikes, noting a few new additions. Under ‘likes’ there’s: the beach, building sandcastles, and reading. I grab a pen and add chocolate milk. Under ‘dislikes’ there’s: the ocean, fist fighting—to which someone has written ‘duh’ next to—and secrets. I snort. That was quick, but I appreciate the effort.

I glance at the other list, realizing nothing’s been added to it since Kash started it that day at the beach. Makes sense, seeing as I’m the only one who can really decide the things I want to do now that I have the freedom and means to. Remembering the beer I just had to rearrange, I smile and grab the pen again. Standing back to admire my work, I can’t help but wonder what the guys will think of the latest addition.

Get drunk.

Chapter Thirty

Saylor

It’s been four days since we sat around the dining table for the first time, unknowingly starting a new breakfast tradition. It’s nice to sit together, instead of having them hover around me like I’m a spectacle to be watched while eating. Everyone’s been busy lately, Lochlan and Krew the most as they’re working on a new case. I haven’t seen much of either of them, both holing up in the respective offices. It’s weird, but I miss them. They’re right here, easily accessible, but I don’t want to intrude and mess with their workflow.

Deciding I’ve kept my hand in the sand long enough, I put my new laptop to use and Googled current events. I worked my way through years, realizing I missed an entire pandemic while being held in captivity. But I’m happy to report the Kardashians still corner the market on reality TV. There was so much to catch up on, so that was a good way to pass the time.

I finally cracked open my GED material. I’ve been too nervous to read through any of it, afraid of how little I might recognize. But to my surprise, there’s a good bit I understand. It’s mostly math that I’ll have to work on. Even though Krew presented the option of getting my high school diploma, I didn’t give it much thought. I’m sure it sounds weird, but it feels like that opportunity has come and gone, and I’m not interested in going back in time.

It always felt worth it—the long hours of studying and lack of a social life—because when it was all said and done, Mom would get to see me walk across the stage and receive that rolled up piece of paper. She’s no longer here, and there won’t be a graduation—no matter which route I take. I want the quickest option, preferring to get it over with and out of the way. There’s no telling what career path I might take, but I’m certain a GED will suffice.

After reading for several hours, the words begin to blur. I close everything up and push it aside, wondering what the others have been up to all day. Deciding to find out, I climb to my feet, stretching as I go. As soon as I’m in the hallway, I make a split-second decision to knock on Lochlan’s office door. I can hear him clicking away at his keyboard so I know he’s in there, I just hope I’m not bothering him. I wait for him to answer, but he never does. Swallowing past my nerves, I step inside cautiously.

“Lochlan?” I call out quietly. His head snaps up, a smile lighting up his face as soon as he sees me. “I knocked but I don’t think you heard me.”

“Sorry. I’ve been hyper-focused on this backlog of paperwork.” He winces, looking guilty when he has no reason to. This is his job.

“No worries. I can come back later. Just wanted to say hi,” I tell him, wishing I hadn’t interrupted.

“Absolutely not,” Lochlan states, pushing his chair back. “Come here.” The demand has my feet moving instantly. I stop in front of him, but apparently that’s not good enough. He tugs me down, draping me over his lap.

“There. That’s better.” He drops a kiss to the top of my head. “Missed you, sweetheart.” I relax completely, amazed at the reaction a few simple words can evoke. It’s nice to know he felt the distance between us as much as I have. I’ve gotten used to having them close by at any given time, and after the argument we had last week, there’s been a disconnect with Lochlan. It’s a miserable feeling.

“Same.” I tilt my head back and kiss his jaw, making his hand flexes against the back of my thigh. After resituating me, he brings his fingers up to tuck some hair behind my ear.

“Hi,” Lochlan whispers, nudging the tip of my nose with his.

“Hi.” I respond just as quietly, enjoying the bubble we’ve found ourselves in. He’s so handsome it’s painful. I don’t understand how none of these men have girlfriends. Or maybe I’m just unaware if they have women they’re talking to. It’s not exactly something we’ve discussed.