Page 69 of Somnium

But as he watched her, a familiar heaviness crept over him, and his smile faltered at the reminder of everything that still waited for him, and everything he now stood to lose. He knew that this peace he felt with her tucked into his side was fragile and fleeting, even more so now that she had started to ask questions.

If only Sera had missed that train, then Cadi never would have seen those fucking sigils and then, maybe, they could have stayed wrapped in this bliss until he had figured things out. But ever since that day, Sera had been more on his ass than ever about telling Cadi the truth. She hated lying to her. Fuck, he did too, but …

He just wasn’t ready to give this up. Not yet. Even though he knew it was only a matter of time before Cadi’s patience reached its limit and she started demanding answers—or worse. It would split him open, but Elias couldn’t blame her if she left. It was no secret to him how difficult it was for her to put her faith in people, and now here he was, knowingly betraying the delicate trust she had given him. It made him sick.

He was playing a dangerous game.

Outside, the storm had begun to calm, its powerful torrent tapering to a steady drizzle against his bedroom windows. If only life could be this simple forever, but he knew that wasn’t possible, not for him. His choices had brought him here, and now he would have to deal with the fallout. Cadi grumbled softly in her sleep, and Elias tightened his grip to pull her the smallest bit closer.

Agony burned through his chest. He wanted to give her everything, to be everything she would ever need. But the ghosts of his past still lingered, grinning wider with every move he made to break free of them, and if he wasn’t careful, Cadi could end up directly in their path. The best thing he could do for her was to make sure she was prepared, he knew that to his core. And he would. Just not yet, not tonight. Tonight he just wanted to hold her and savor what they might have been in another life.

Leaning down, he pressed his lips to her hair and breathed her in.

No matter what dangers awaited him, he couldn’t let them get to her.

21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CADI

Cadi stirred as the shift of Elias’s body beneath hers brought her consciousness back into the room. A sleepy smile tugged at her lips when she felt him press a kiss to her head, and she didn’t dare move, letting him think she was still asleep for just a moment longer. It wasn’t until he settled back against the pillows that she turned and rested her chin on his chest to gaze up at him through sleep-blurred eyes.

“Sorry,” he whispered, running his hand over her hair. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” she said, her voice gravelly with sleep. Twisting her body, she extended her arms and legs as far as they would go, groaning at the way the movement pulled at her muscles. She settled herself back into him, and a soft sigh escaped her as his fingers resumed their path over her skin. If this was the closest she ever came to heaven, that would be just fine with her.

A cool beam of light filtered across the bed to mingle with the fading flicker of the low-burning pillars. Cadi tipped her head to gaze out the window behind them and found that the blanket of black clouds had given way to stars. Their distant lights twinkled and danced, almost as if the cosmos itself was winking at her after quietly bearing witness to the way Elias had her shaking less than an hour ago.

“How are you feeling?” he asked. His voice was soft, but she could hear the concern that drifted just beneath the surface of his question, like he could sense how much it had cost for her to let him in, to let him see her so unguarded and exposed. He studied her face, searching for any flicker of regret or fear that she knew he wouldn’t find. Opening herself to him had been the most terrifying thing she’d ever done, but she would do it again in an instant if he asked her.

She smiled up at him, letting her fingers skim his collarbone. “I’m good.”

“Good, like you’ll be fine? Or good like you’d gladly let me ruin you again?”

She laughed. “The second one. Definitely the second one.”

The low sound of his answering chuckle resonated through his chest, stirring the tiny flutter in her own. A pleasant tingle remained on her skin where he touched her, the heat from their bodies coalescing in a way that made her belly go tight. She thought his touch set her on fire before, but it was nothing compared to the pull she felt now, the need to be as close to him as possible, with nothing standing between them.

“By the way,” she said, walking her fingertips across his torso, smiling at the tiny twitch of his abs at each touch, “I’m on birth control.”

His stomach relaxed as he let out a breath, and his hand moved to cup her face. “And you trust me?”

Cadi lifted her shoulder, a half grin pulling at her lips. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

Elias leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. “Good,” he murmured against her, “cause that was my only one.”

Cadi’s mouth fell open in feigned offense. “Are you saying you only got one condom on the off chance that I would sleep with you tonight? How presumptuous …”

He let out a soft laugh as he tugged her back into him. “I like to be prepared, remember?” he crooned as he playfully nudged her chin with his nose so he could kiss her throat.

Her answering giggle floated through the room, and she slid her hand over his shoulder, feeling his muscles flex as he slowly traced his palm along her hip. If he kept doing that, she was going to melt straight into the bed.

“Speaking of being prepared,” he said, taking a break from driving her mad, “I have an impressive selection of dentist-branded toothbrushes for you to choose from.”

Cadi froze, her hand hovering at the curve of his neck. She pulled her lips between her teeth as uncomfortable laughter brewed in her gut. After the shit she had just given him, he was never going to let her live it down when he found out she had packed her own. They hadn’t specifically discussed her spending the night, so she’d assumed she would just head home once the storm broke. Throwing her toothbrush into her bag had been a last-minute decision as she walked out the door. Just in case.

Elias pulled back, his brows pinched at the sudden change in her posture. “You are planning to stay, aren’t you?”