Page 113 of Somnium

“Can you?”

Cadi swallowed hard past the dryness that suddenly coated her throat. “I want to. So badly, I just …”

She pressed her eyes closed when their corners started to sting. The warmth of Sera’s hand wrapped around hers, her fingers tightening in a gentle squeeze.

“I miss him so much,” Cadi continued, “It feels like a part of me is missing when I’m not with him … but you saw what happened today. How can we be normal again if I flinch every time he comes near me?”

Sera nodded as she traced her thumb against Cadi’s knuckles. “Sweetie, your body and brain went through something major. It’s no surprise you’re still on guard. But that doesn’t mean you always will be. You’re going to have to remind yourself that he’s safe.”

“I don’t even know how to start,” Cadi said, her voice breaking as she wiped the sleeve of her sweater against her cheeks.

“Slowly. Intentionally. You’re gonna have to choose it every step of the way, but if anyone can get through this, it’s you two.”

Cadi nodded, letting out a shaky breath before she took a long drink from her glass. She knew Sera was right. Nothing about this would be easy, and each step toward their shared future would need to be made on purpose. A slow sinking filled her stomach as she realized that the first step was already in front of her, and it was one she would need to make entirely on her own: deciding if a future with Elias was still something she could see.

It would appear she had some serious soul-searching to do over the next twenty-four hours.

A tingle raced over her scalp, drawing her attention across the counter to where Sera was still watching her. Cadi forced a smile before she tossed back the remnants of her glass, then decided to focus on something that felt easier to control.

Logistics.

“So, do you want to meet here tomorrow? Drive over together?” she asked.

Sera’s eyes went wide before her expression quickly shifted to a regretful grimace as she pushed up from the counter. “I’ll actually need to meet you there. I’m swamped tomorrow and won’t have time to swing back.”

Cadi’s stomach pitched, the smile on her face wavering. Given the circumstances, she wasn’t in love with the idea of trying to navigate a new area of town alone. At night. The snap of Sera’s fingers made her jump, and she had to scramble to stop her wine glass from crashing into the counter.

“I completely forgot that Kai will be there. You know him; he can’t stand the idea of not supervising everything. If you’re good with it, I can see if he can give you a lift.”

Cadi shifted in her seat. Of all the gods Sera could have suggested, Kai was the one Cadi preferred the least. It wasn’t that she didn’t like him—his no-nonsense demeanor had actually started to grow on her—but she imagined riding with him would probably be filled with uncomfortable silence and the occasional clipped, efficient comment. Unfortunately, he also seemed to be her only option.

She pressed her lips together and lifted a shoulder in a reluctant shrug.

Sera’s thumbs flew over her screen, followed by a small woosh. She hadn’t even set her phone down before it chimed with a reply. Glancing down, she rolled her eyes with a light chuckle. Cadi leaned over the counter to read the message. Or at least she would have, if there had been anything to read. She couldn’t help but smile at Kai’s very in-character response. No pomp, no circumstance, no words. Just a thumbs-up.

Sera shook her head, an affectionate smile growing across her face as she moved to pour them each another glass of wine. “It’s always straight to business with that one.”

“How do you think Elias is going to handle this? Another man giving me a ride, and a god at that?”

Sera shrugged. “It might ruffle him a bit, but he’ll get over it.” She threw Cadi a reassuring wink. “He knows your safety is more important than his ego.”

Cadi hoped she was right, and hoped that Elias could get a little more sleep tonight. Something told her he would be much less likely to try and fight a deity if he was able to secure just a few more hours.

“Does this change anything?” she asked, her eyes fixed on the wine as it swirled around the crystal. “Now that Oneirios knows something is going on?”

Sera let out a long breath as she leaned forward onto her elbows. “It’s possible. But if what Elias said is true, my brother didn’t see anything that would tell him exactly what we are up to, or even who else is involved outside of the two of you. We need to keep our wits about us though.”

Cadi nodded and leaned back against the cold metal. If Oneirios did manage to figure out that the other gods were involved and that they were trying to free Ananke, everything they had worked toward would go south in an instant. But she couldn’t focus on those “what-ifs” right now, she just had to trust that Elias really had been able to block those thoughts from the god’s access. She relaxed into her chair and tried her best to let her second glass of wine worked its own brand of magic on her nerves. Despite the challenges that seemed determined to stick around, it finally felt like beneath it all she had something to look forward to. And even if just for a moment, she decided to let herself lean into that hope.

35

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

ELIAS

Elias winced at the high-pitched squeal that rang out as he slowed to a stop in front of the small artisan jeweler, bitterly adding checking his brakes to the growing mental list of things he had to worry about. He ducked low to look out the passenger window at the blue and white awning above the picture windows that bracketed either side of the door.

From where he sat, Elias could just see Sera leaning against one of the display cases, deep in conversation with a woman he didn’t know. At least, he was decently confident he didn’t know her. Someone with hair that shade of green would be pretty difficult to forget.