Page 112 of Somnium

Elias found himself frozen, everything that had haunted him over the past five days suddenly lost in the soft blue that stared back at him. He squeezed his eyes shut against the burn that threatened at their edges and pulled in a shaky breath. “I’m so sorry. I can’t stop thinking about that night. About what I could have⁠—”

“I know,” she said softly. She lifted her hand as if to reach for him, only for it to fall back to her side.

He swallowed hard, pushing past the rock that had lodged itself in his throat. “I miss you.”

Cadi’s chest shook as she held the fabric of her bag fisted tight in her fingers. He didn’t dare let himself breathe, his lungs locked until she spoke with a voice that was soft and fragile. “I miss you, too.”

A tight breath rushed past his lips as those four simple words formed the first stitch in their shared wound. He dug his fingers into the hard muscles at his neck; the pressure grounded him just enough to push forward. “Can we fix this?”

Cadi studied him, her eyes glistening in the afternoon light as her lips moved with half-formed words. The weight of the silence pressed harder with every second that slipped by until Elias thought he might collapse.

“I want to,” she said at last, a single tear tracing against her cheek.

A small sound escaped him as the knot in his chest began to unwind at the glimmer of hope she had just offered him. She smiled, soft and beautiful, before she stepped around her car to the driver’s side and tugged open the door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, her eyes holding his for a breath before she lowered herself into the seat.

“Tomorrow,” he replied. His was voice quiet, as if the force of it might cause everything to shatter.

His eyes tracked her until she disappeared down the side street toward Sera’s loft. The growing distance tugged at him; his soul craved the closeness of hers like she was a part of him. It was ingrained in everything that he was or ever would be.

He slid his hands into his pockets and let his fingers brush against the soft fibers of the paper Sera had given him. A small piece of the near constant gnawing in his soul began to ebb at the soft crinkle, at the quiet reminder of the path that could bring them back to each other.

He turned on his heels in the direction of his own car, unable to contain his hopeful smile as he began to count the hours until the next time he saw her.

Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

34

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

CADI

Cadi pressed her shoulder hard against the thick wooden door of Sera’s apartment, stumbling forward when it gave way from the tight frame. The cozy smell of incense wrapped around her, along with the chaotic welcome of Cuba’s excited barks.

“Hey, girl,” Cadi said as she leaned down to scratch the dog underneath her chin, smiling at the way her entire butt wiggled with joy at the attention.

A sharp gasp was the only warning she had before Sera’s body collided with hers. Her friend gripped her wrist and yanked her toward the kitchen, where two wine glasses filled with Sera’s current red selection waited on the counter.

Cadi laughed, slipped onto a high-backed bar stool, and watched her friend’s ridiculous prance to the other side. With the tip of her finger, Sera slid a glass across the butcher block surface and stared at her with an expectant grin.

“So? Spill.”

Cadi pressed her lips together, focusing on the glass in her hand. Her chest threatened to implode at the memory of the brokenness in Elias’s eyes that had pierced through her from across the sidewalk. An old fear stirred in response, fueled by upheaval and sleep deprivation—the familiar dread that comfort never lasted, that something as good as what she’d had with him was always going to end in pain.

She knew it wasn’t logical, but she still hesitated to voice these thoughts, and instead gave Sera a small shrug. “He just walked me to my car. Nothing too exciting.”

Silence.

Cadi looked up and immediately shrank back into the metal backrest at the impatience that burned in Sera’s stare. “… and we talked a little,” she added, though she knew her vague response had almost zero chance of satisfying Sera’s curiosity.

As expected, her friend rolled her eyes and groaned as she let her head flop forward in an exaggerated show of frustration. “You really suck at this whole ‘girl talk’ thing. I need details, woman!”

A fragile laugh sounded in Cadi’s throat as she let her fingers trace the stem of her glass. Evasion was pointless; Sera would get the information out of her by force if she had to, so Cadi decided it would be much easier to just give her what she wanted.

“He said he misses me. Gods, it hurt to see him like that, Sera. So … shattered. He asked if we can fix things.”

The low hum of the city drifted from the street below. It was the only sound in the apartment as Sera studied her before she finally voiced the question Cadi hadn’t yet been willing to face.