Page 45 of The Logic of Loyalty

AJ and I are playing him and Dex, and I’m in this strange floating sensation of what-the-fuck-is-hapening-to-me. When they pulled me out the back of Pour Decisions and through an alleyway to another closed door, I was not expecting a semi-abandoned basketball court. Then Dex pulled the ball from his duffel bag like it was some casual thing to do after a concert at midnight. We’ve played countless games, and I’ve found these guys are relentless and physical.

“Aren’t you guys supposed to be snorting shit and fucking randoms?” I pant out, the alcohol thoroughly out of my system, and likely making me smell awful. I already feel bad for AJ and plan to either replace the shoes he lent me or find a way to deep clean them. Nick’s shorts are going to have to be mine forever.

Nick snorts. “Hey, man, we have to burn this energy somehow. Sometimes, it’s balling, and sometimes it’s someone choking on my cock.” His look gets mischievous. “You have a sister, don’t you?”

That comment knocks me back to reality, making me nearly drop the ball he finally throws to me. “Shit.”

He stops and pales. “Oh, hell. Sorry. That was crossing a line. I get it. Please don’t hit me.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I need to head out anyway. You just reminded me of my responsibilities.”

“Seriously, Trev. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Don’t worry about it, alright? Don’t talk about my sister like that, but also, I get that you were just fucking with me.”

Nick nods, but then he shakes his head. “Yeah, that was my bad. Family is off-limits.” As I change my shoes, he comes over while Dex and AJ shoot around. “Hey, come to my concert at anytime, alright? You and your family. Just let me know or give them your name, and you’ll have a backstage pass.”

“Yeah, sounds great. It was an awesome concert. You should be proud.” I clap him on the shoulder, then grab my stuff, leaving the way we entered.

I decide to check Pour Decisions again, feeling guilt slide back into place in my chest. The sour scent of sweaty bodies and stale alcohol hits me only a few steps into the bar. I do a double-take when someone walks right up to me. Not the blond I’m looking for, but Bennett.

“Wow, man. You look wrecked. I can’t believe it, and in the car, too! Epic.” Then, with a wink and a slap on the back, he disappears as if I’m supposed to know what he’s trying to say to me.

“Hey! What the fuck do you mean about my car?” My voice doesn’t carry over the music playing from the jukebox, but he’s too far away. Feeling a little confused and concerned, I abandon my search and walk back to my car. She’s an adult. She has her phone. She’s not my responsibility. I double-check my wallet and keys, then walk down the quieter streets and find my car exactly where I parked it. When I open the door, I’m surprised by the heat that it has generated over the last few hours of the night. The smell is unpleasant too. Krista really pours that spray on her. I toss my jacket onto the passenger seat and roll down the windows.

I look at the dashboard and sigh at the time. I’m so fucked.

Chapter Sixteen

TREVOR

Ifinish, look at Paige, and wait. I wait for something, anything, but she remains silent, sitting there with her hands now primly folded on her lap, staring at me like she’s waiting for me to say something else.

“I know it was confusing earlier—er, last night. But you asked if it was Krista, and I’m not sure, but I think it might have been her and the guy she was there with.”

“Okay.” She says one word … She says one word and decides on “okay.”

“Okay … what? Honey, that was a lot. I could use a little more than that.” Her hands and jaw clench simultaneously, and I shrink back as I watch her eyes turn ice-cold.

“You want more? Okay, sure. I can give you more.” She sits up again, the blanket baring her dark bruise once more.

“Okay. I’m glad you got to go out and drink with your buddies. Okay. I’m glad you were able to keep your momma happy. Okay. I’m glad that you supposedly didn’t fuck your assistant in your car. Okay. Okay. Okay!” Her voice rises with each word until she’s shouting the last. “This story didn’t exonerate you from your behavior yesterday, this week, or over the last few weeks, Trevor.” An aggressive slash of her hand comes dangerously close to my face. I move backward an inch or so to avoid her talking hands.

“That travesty of a dinner opened my eyes to so much more than an empty condom packet.” A passing car’s lights briefly illuminate her furious face before returning us to the semi-darkness. “The condoms were just the final cut in a million other slices that your choices have brought to our marriage.” She leans back toward me and whispers viciously, “We already were going to have a discussion before your choices led to my discovery. That lovely little surprise accelerated things.”

“But, Paige, it’s all just a misunderstanding. I didn’t actually⁠—”

She stands, and I fall back. “Stop! Stop.” I do, then scramble to my feet. Paige begins to pace, occasionally turning to me. “I need you to listen to me. I just found out, from your mother, during a family dinner, that you missed an important night because of a woman you assured me was not going to be a problem. You promised me. Well, Trevor, not only is she a problem, but you’re a problem, too.” She jabs her hand out in my direction, but I manage to mostly dodge her.

“No, Paige. Listen to me. I am not, and have never been, interested in her. We only work together. The way you were talking that day was like you thought I wanted her. I only want you.” I take a step toward her, but she takes a swift step back.

“You have been making a lot of choices that contradict that statement. I saw you in your office, Trevor. And it didn’t seem very one-sided.”

“I mean, I just started to realize I was maybe a little too close to her⁠—”

“Just started? When? Yesterday, when she tried to fucking kiss you? You think, Trevor?” Her voice hits a shriek before settling into a deadly calm. “You say that today is a new day, right?”

“No. Well, yes. Shit, I don’t know. Yes. Today is a new day.”