Page 112 of The Logic of Loyalty

“While I what?” I groan and make a vague gesture with my hand. He watches me, a hint of humor followed swiftly by devastation. “Oh, hell no.” He crowds me in a second, nose to nose. “I love you, I want you, only ever you.” Trevor tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and searches my eyes, then grips my chin. “I hope you know that there is nobody in this world I could or would ever want the way that I want you, wife.” He turns my face and brushes a kiss against the side of my head before turning it back and brushing a kiss on the edge of my lips. Then he steps back, leaving me unsteady. “I never wanted to hurt you.” His voice is a broken whisper, and the pain in it is unmistakable.

“I know that.”

He searches my eyes and nods. “I think it’s best that I leave now. I keep hurting you, and I just—I should go.” He reaches for me, out of habit or desperation, I’m not sure anymore, but curls his arms back to his sides. “I’ll see you later.” He turns to exit, taking a few steps from me, but pain and a certainty that this is wrong fill me at the sight of him walking away. I don’t fight the urge to chase him and wrap around him from behind, securing my arms tightly around his middle. He releases a long breath and folds his arms over my own, clasping my hands.

“Stay.” I whisper it into his back, and his body goes rigid.

“What?” He spins around and takes a step away from me. “What did you say?”

“I want you to come home. I want to heal with you here. Maybe not in our bed or not overnight. Not yet. But I want you here with your family. With me.”

Chapter Thirty-Six

TREVOR

“Are you sure?” Don’t ask that, you idiot. Don’t call yourself an idiot.

Paige nods, tapping her hands against her thighs. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I know it’s what’s best for our family.”

I take a step closer and lift my hand to her cheek. “Is it what’s best for you, Paige?” She swallows and jerks her head in a nod.

“Yes. I know what I want. I want my family, and you are my family.”

Don’t fucking cry. “I would love that.”

“You can take the guest room on the other side of Bethany.” She turns away from me and strides back into the kitchen. I follow slowly in her wake, reeling with the news. “You can turn it into a nursery while you’re in there. Start on things.”

“The one I’m staying in?”

“Yeah. It’s a great size and further from Jacob’s room, so if they wake up crying, it won’t be too hard on him.”

“I agree. I was thinking the same thing.”

She turns around and leans against the counter, inadvertently putting her sweet curves on display for me. Her small hand reaches for me, and I step quickly to oblige. “Don’t make me regret this, Trevor.”

I shake my head. “Never. I won’t. I can’t.”

Paige cups my cheek in her small hand and then slides it to the back of my head, using it to pull me closer until I’m a breath away from her lips. Her other hand lands on my chest and drifts down until she curves her fingers into the waist of my jeans. I swallow a groan and lock myself down, even as my body reacts swiftly to her touch. “I miss you, Trevor.” She tugs me forward until I’m towering over her. I brace my hands on either side of her on the counter, and I can’t stop the groan this time.

“I miss you.” I rasp, making her smile. Then she brushes her hand against where I’m aching for her. “Oh, God, yes.” Wait. “You’re playing with fire, wife.”

She bites my lip and palms my cock at the same time, and I press my body firmly against hers. “Trevor.” Her voice is breathy, needy, making my heart race in my chest.

I press against her palm and realize that I’m going to come in my pants like a teenager. Unless⁠—

Her laughing shriek fills the air as I gather her soft, familiar curves into my arms. “Put me down!” Paige wriggles, but rather than trying to get out of my hold, the vixen wraps her legs around my hips and her arms around my neck, pulling herself tighter against me. Her beautiful face is inches from mine, her body molded against me. I can’t remember the last time she willingly came into my arms.

She feels like home.

Panic, not passion, consumes me at the thought. She is my home. I’ve been drifting, floating for weeks, months. Existing for the briefest contact with her, my son, or my sister, only to be set adrift again and again.

I can’t lose her. I can’t lose her again. “Paige.” Her name is ripped from my lips. A current of hot need collides with a wave of hopelessness and the painful, all-consuming fear of losing her, even as she squeezes me tightly in her arms.

I’m horrified when my vision begins to blur. No, not right now.

“Oh, honey.” Her hands release from around my neck, and I seize up, preparing my heart for the agony of having her pull away from me again. But rather than the cold of her distance, warmth caresses my cheeks, and a soft press of her lips slides against my own. She leans back but remains close enough for her lips to move against mine. “Shh. I’m right here.” She presses closer, drifting her lips back and forth across mine again, and again. “It’s alright. I want you to touch me.”

My chest is tight. I’m wound up, ready to break at any hint of her leaving. I’m playing a dangerous game. “I love you. I love you so—so fucking much. I—God, Paige. My soul. While I’m with you?” I kiss her this time, the first time in so long. Too long. I pull her tongue into my mouth, sucking in rhythmic pulses. She moans, and fuck me. She’s the hottest little thing I’ve ever seen, ever felt, ever wanted. I palm her ass and swallow her sigh as I pull her tighter against me, grinding her center against me. She feels like heaven, and I’ve been living in my own personal hell. I rest my forehead against hers, and our hard panting fills the quiet. “While I’m with you, my soul lights up. I’m brighter, better, and I burn for you.” Paige stares at my lips, licking hers. Is she tasting me? I want to taste her.