Page 107 of The Fall

The shape seemed so out of character for her. For her mask. The one she kept up when she battled her demons, or helped Lusa control hers.

Lusa didn’t want to be like that. Letting down her constant guard with Caoimhe only made her bones tired when she put her armour back on. There could only be one solution.

“Why aren't you still there? Did you have a fight?” It wouldn't be the first fight her mother had to talk Lusa through.

But it wasn’t that. They hadn’t fought. Lusa was all too aware of her own shortcomings. She could see her own trajectory. She hurt people. She would always hurt people.

Reaching her decision, Lusa’s roaring storm died to a disturbing calm. Sometimes, solutions were obvious and it was only your lack of courage holding you back. If she was too much, she needed to become less. She rose to her feet and took a deep breath, righting her composure. “I need to deal with this myself.”

The door opened quietly. Kerr looked toward the sound. “Sorry,” Talia muttered. “I know you were hoping for Lusa.”

“Does she do this a lot?” Kerr strained her eyes, trying to get a better view.

“You have no idea.” Talia pulled up a chair. “It's my fault, really. Callie and Cat tried their best, but she ended up latching on to me. I'll admit, it felt good being the chosen mom. Except I know about as much about mothering as I do about fishing.”

“I don’t know what fishing is.”

“All I know is that, even if it works, stabbing them is bad.” Talia slouched, struggling to find comfort in a hard plastic chair. Aside from her height, she hardly resembled Lusa, but in her mannerisms, the quiet confidence that masked a wild energy screaming below the surface, they might as well be clones.

Silence dragged on for too long, but Talia wasn’t leaving and Kerr couldn’t. She could vent to Greasegun about her flings and Piston had no illusions about Chalice. Talia gave her the impression that if she said the wrong thing, she’d be killed.

On the other hand, Kerr needed to talk to someone and death would be preferable to living like this. “I don't want to give out about your daughter, but she's acting shite about this whole thing.”

Kerr looked straight at the ceiling out of fear of making eye contact with Talia, but she heard the chair scrape. She waited for the blow, but nothing happened.

“Go on.” Talia’s contralto tones threatened her, but Kerr couldn’t stop now.

“I don’t have much of a choice, yeah? I already said I wouldn't get her pregnant.” Kerr flushed. “Sorry, you probably don't want to talk about your daughter's sex life.”

Talia moved so Kerr could see her. She wore the same lopsided smile that Lusa did. The one that said she enjoyed making people uncomfortable.

“What else can I do, yeah?” She wanted to throw up her arms in frustration. “I don't even know why computer girl can't give me the new body without sticking balls in it! But my options are die or lay here until I die.”

“We wouldn't let you sit here until you died.” Talia shifted forward in her seat. “We need the space for other patients.”

Dark humour as a façade, but the corner of her mouth rose. That’s where Lusa got it.

Talia placed a hand on her leg. Kerr couldn’t feel it, but she could appreciate the gesture. Perhaps a life outside of Tyton wouldn’t be so bad.

“I'm sure you've figured out by now that Lusa has a hard time controlling herself when her feelings get too big.”

Kerr remembered well. The killing spree when she thought Kerr was in danger. The aftermath in the bedroom. Her confession. “That’s a bit stingy.”

There was a snort of a laugh. “She gets all of the worst things from me. Sorry.”

“How do you deal with it?” Kerr realised that might be too personal of a question, but Talia obliged.

“Poorly.” Talia lowered her head. “I had hormone regulators once. I overloaded two of them. Now, Callie and Sesi keep me stable.”

Then it hit. “Bollocks.” Kerr mouthed it more than said it. “I know what this is about.” She wanted to sit up and grab Talia by the shoulders but couldn't, so she transferred as much energy as she could into her eyes. “Will you get her for me?”

“Did she tell you she'd be back?”

“Yes.”

Talia patted her leg, but shook her head. “Then she'll be back when she's ready. Lusa has her faults, most of them from me, but she'll always keep her word.” Talia stood. “That part, she gets from Sesi.”

“But she’s going to do something stupid before she gets back!” Kerr’s jaw hurt trying to move her head, frustrated that Talia wasn’t getting the urgency of the situation.